U.S.S. Mariner

Bryan LaHair (1B-L) is not playing in tonight’s Tacoma @ Iowa game, and he’s on the 40-man, so there’s a fair chance they’ll be shipping him up to play first in Sexson’s absence. It would require a move on the 25-man to get him there, but they could put Vidro on the 15-day retroactive to May 5th for his back, maybe even toss *him* to Tacoma on one of their patented fake DL assignments, and he’d be eligible to come back in a week. Or so.

Anyway, a LaHair move would be good, because it would mean the team realizes Cairo’s not an option, but it would be bad because LaHair is not, his recent success aside, a particularly good player. If the other team can get on the phone to someone in the PCL who’s seen him, he’s probably going to be in trouble. And his defense is bad too. He’s not a good prospect.

Anything can happen in a week’s worth of games, though, and he’s certainly better than Cairo.

Or they could just be giving him the day off.

Update: LaHair’s weighted mean PECOTA forecast was .243/.295/.358, and PECOTA pretty much thinks he shouldn’t ever face a lefty.

Richie Sexson was suspended for six games for charging the mound and throwing his helmet at Kason Gabbard last night. He’ll probably appeal, so he won’t begin serving the suspension right away, but I doubt it gets reduced much - his reason for charging the mound sucked and he used his helmet as a weapon. Six games sounds like a gift, honestly.

The M’s will have to adjust their bench when the suspension hits - there’s no way they can possibly go with Miguel Cairo as their first baseman for a week unless they’re trying to get fired.

I know this is unfair, but for all the random ill comments we tolerate, including the ones that drive me nuts (”The Mariner’s need…”) and for all the frustration that I share, every time I see a comment that says “I’m done with the team” or “I’m going to go cheer for some other team” or “See you next year” I have this urge to go delete that person’s account and go work something out on the server to block them from reading the site, with a reminder to pull it in 365 days. To support them in their effort, you know.

“Angry Face” by Piez, cc-licensed.

It’s horrible, but there it is. When I consider it, I feel silly — it’s like the team’s whacked me on the head with a 2×4 and I can’t do anything about it so I’m casting around for someone to take it out on.

But I also don’t feel that way at all. There’s something particularly annoying about these announce that they’re done, that being beat up by Texas was the intolerable final act. They’re like kids holding their breath for attention, trying to make the responsible party someone else (”I’m not cleaning my room until the M’s win three games in a row… it’s not my fault it’s a mess in here.”)

Yeah, that’s great, leaving the fan community when we’re all down and uncertain of the future. Thanks.

And I feel each time I read those that I’m being chastised for not having the good sense to abandon the team like the person jumping overboard. Which is both annoying and unsettling, because it goes to my essential fear that we are wasting our time being fans until wholesale changes are made, and that we should just… join them in abandoning?

But moreover, it angers me because it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of my fandom and the fandom of others.

Does anyone really think I follow the M’s because I have some choice? That I could tomorrow swap over to being a Rays fan (named one of the ten worst franchises on MSNBC yesterday!) or stop following baseball? I can’t. I’ve tried. I tried following other teams, way back pre-USSM, and it didn’t work. I follow the Giants in the NL, and my interest in them barely measures comparatively.

No, for whatever the reasons, and we’ve discussed them, if you cracked open my DNA they’re probably stamped with tiny little yellow trident logos.

So I’m a dupe, I’m a sucker, I’ve got the chalk hand outline in the center of my back where Chuck Armstrong marked me for future exploitation years and years ago. I saw horrible teams in the Kingdome, I saw great teams in Safeco, and I’ll be watching whatever crappy pitching matchup the M’s throw at me in September just as reliably as I tuned in for last night’s game.

I accept that. I’m not arguing it’s the smart decision, because it isn’t. And my constant “short-term realism, long-term faith” viewpoint doesn’t have a lot of support for it. But there’s no second MLB team in the Seattle metro area, and as much as I like and support them, the Rainiers and Aquasox just aren’t the same product.

I feel like if someone’s reaction to this particular stretch of darkness is to declare they’re giving up or going elsewhere, then that’s the end of the conversation. Go. Live your life frolicking in meadows of flowers and friendly bunnies. When the team’s competitive in 2012 or whenever, and you’re curious how they got from here to there, I’ll be happy to talk your ear off about it.

In the meantime, I’m as frustrated as anyone — I’m throwing towels up on the front page every couple hours, after all — but I still feel like if someone’s going to make a scene about giving up now, the least they could do as a courtesy to the rest of us is go quietly, and leave us to our misery and nursed hope. And that means, to circle back to the start of this whole thing, that I have no patience right now for repeated declarations of giving up, franchise swapping, and so on.

If you’re capable of it, best of luck to you, congratulations on your superior constitution or whatever.
If you’re not, at least confront your weakness, acknowledge it, and join me in knowing that fandom can be as much about suffering as success.

“Towels” by tico24, cc-licensed

“Towels to chose from” by blmurch, cc-licensed.

Gabbard v Felix. 7:10. Chance to make up a game, with the A’s and Angels off.

On mariners.mlb.com, one of the rotating top stories is “Vote to send Beltre, Mariners to the Bronx.”

I started laughing when I saw the pictures. Yes! Let me go vote for Jose Vidro as the all-star DH.

Here’s your lineup of inexplicableness:
CF-L Ichiro!
DH-R Lopez
LF-L Ibanez
3B-R Beltre
1B-R Sexson
SS-R Betancourt
RF-R Balentien
C-R Johima
2B-R Bloomquist

“Ist das die Sonne? Day 45” by Arwen Abendstern, cc-licensed

Is it Felix Day?
Yes, it’s Felix Day, child.

moar funny pictures

Here’s a dog licking her* chops with excitement.

“Annie licks her chops” by Barbara L. Slavin, cc-licensed

* presumably

If you’re close to the park, check out this chance to help out the Aquasox and the next Felix (2003) (or other great prospects: just that team had Adam Jones for a stint as well, and Eric O’Flaherty and a bunch of other familiar names). Read on for more from their email release
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Nowhere have the failings of an organization been more succinctly summed up in one single situation than in using Willie Bloomquist to pinch hit for your designated hitter to represent the tying run in the 9th inning of a game you have to win. It may even have been the correct tactical decision - I’m not criticizing the team for making the pinch hit decision. I’m just in awe that a team that would have to find itself using Bloomquist to pinch hit for their #5 hitter was ever considered a legitimate contender.

I said some unkind things about McLaren’s choice to start Cairo in Sexson’s stead tonight. But there really is no way to justify the decision. With Sexson lost, here’s who was available:
- WFB-R, plays a good first base, terrible hitter
- WFB Light-R, plays a bad first base, terrible hitter
- Turbo-B, plays a bad first base, terrible hitter so far but probably a good bet to do better than either of those two, offensively
- play someone out of position, either Clement, Ibanez, or someone else, like someone tall from the bullpen

Once you’ve eliminated that last one, you really only have two defensible choices: Vidro, because you want a guy who’ll take a walk and might get a hit, or Bloomquist, because as long as you’re punting offense you might as well get a good glove out there.

There is no reason to play Cairo. There’s no reason Cairo’s on the roster, frankly, but this is supposedly exactly the reason Cairo’s there — to allow them to use Bloomquist while still having a Bloomquist facsimile on the bench. Arrgghhh.

And then — to not pinch-hit for Cairo late in the game when they’re down but things are still close… why not? You in the world do you pinch hit for Clement, who can hit, with Bloomquist in the 9th and not Cairo in the 8th? Why — this is just crazy.