Code Name: Doyle
Hi all,
You may know that I’m a big fan of a certain prospect. However, if you know that you must also be aware that that prospect has had a horrific and career-threatening injury problem. Yes, him. So! There’s a superstition that if a newborn is particularly fragile, the parents hold off naming them until they’re sure the child is through the worst — to not draw the attention of evil forces that might find and harm the kid while it is vulnerable.
In that tradition, I will say nothing about the player shagging balls before games in the outfield for Tacoma. I will be calling this player Doyle. Or Code Name: Doyle, or Conan Doyle for extra confusion. If there are evil spirits, I’m sure Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, noted for his gullibility nearly as much as his writing, would be happy to talk to them. This has the added benefit that SACD is dead, and so no harm can come from him if the injury spirits swing by to kneecap hip.
You may think this is ridiculous and silly, and I would agree with you. I’m still doing it.
Small Sample Size Theater
Doyle, in seven at-bats: .429/.636/.571
Shhhhhhhhhhh.
Are we also not to mention the name of the evil third base spirit that causes harm?
April 18th, 2005 at 8:55 amIn an even larger sample size, player code name: Kids Next Door, is batting .400/.667
April 18th, 2005 at 9:01 amRyan:
April 18th, 2005 at 9:12 amThat would be Rhett Butler, who unwisely watched his daughter break her neck while jumping a horse over an obstacle unsuited to her abilities.
Ummm… I think he meant Dave Myers. I think you get the award for “Most Morbid Comment” though.
April 18th, 2005 at 9:28 amGREG DOBBS GREG DOBBS GREG DOBBS WILLIE BLOOMQUIST GREG DOBBS. BLOOMQUIST.
April 18th, 2005 at 9:36 amDarryl Buhler.
April 18th, 2005 at 9:43 amDerek:
April 18th, 2005 at 9:44 amOf course I knew it was “I should now advance into the line of play to make my late stop sign more obvious and maybe leave my left foot out there to snap a few tendons” Dave the Rave.
But you aren’t playing your own game. Oh my, what to do…
DMZ I like Darnell Coles a lot too.
April 18th, 2005 at 9:45 amor is it Rey Quinones?
April 18th, 2005 at 9:47 amI’m coming down to Seattle for a pair of games in May. I should order myself a Doyle jersey to wear for the games.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:00 amDoyle is a hell of a nice guy. I’ve had the opportunity to talk to him on a few occasions, and you wouldn’t believe how bad he wants to be out there. Hopefully he’s found his balance so he can have a successful ‘05 in Tacoma, and a triumphant ‘06 in Seattle.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:02 amI root very, very hard for Doyle.
I hate to see the kind of effort he puts in get punished.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:16 amIs Doyle playing OF in games or his he limited to DH still?
April 18th, 2005 at 10:35 amDH so far.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:44 am#3 I did mean Myers - of course I thankfully had no idea what you were talking about.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:45 amMadritch’s tattoo didn’t help him.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:51 amDidn’t we sell Kit Pellow to Japan?
April 18th, 2005 at 10:57 amWhat are the odds of Doyle making it up this year if he stays (gulp) healthy? I’d take him over anyone on our bench currently.
April 18th, 2005 at 11:05 amKorea, I believe, Lotte Giants, play in Busan. Thanks for not staying on topic, though, I’m relieved you’re not losing your touch.
April 18th, 2005 at 11:16 amThey’re as good as Sherlock Holmes solving a mystery.
April 18th, 2005 at 11:17 amSpeaking of going off-topic…
Today’s TWiQ over at BP is the first one since you stopped doing them that I’ve thought is up to your wry standards. I sent Erhardt a note telling him so.
April 18th, 2005 at 11:26 amBesides, Kit Pellow isn’t a prospect anymore, plus he isn’t even in the farm system! So how could he be Doyle?
April 18th, 2005 at 11:28 am[Deleted for excessive silliness]
April 18th, 2005 at 11:42 amYou can’t read code?
April 18th, 2005 at 11:46 amArrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh
April 18th, 2005 at 11:55 amNot that Doyle isn’t a very cute nickname, but considering the origins of Doyle, wouldn’t a nickname like Jabberwocky, Waltzing Matilda, or Walkabout be more appropriate?
April 18th, 2005 at 11:59 amHow about Travis Blackley?
Tarantulas really always view idiotic statements badly, leaving all characters killed, leaving even you?
April 18th, 2005 at 12:00 pmYou want me to do your name next? Because I will, and it won’t be pleasant.
w/r/t other names — there was a selection process that weighed identifiability, and we chose not to go with names that hinted at such things.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:15 pm#26-TypicalIdiotFan said:”Not that Doyle isn’t a very cute nickname, but considering the origins of Doyle, wouldn’t a nickname like Jabberwocky, Waltzing Matilda, or Walkabout be more appropriate?”
hey, don’t mess with it. No need to alert the Evil Spirits.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:15 pmRe: #5 - Almost sprayed my monitor with coffee on that one.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:17 pmI think the player in question should be named MacGuffin, which was Alfred Hitchcock’s term for the object in movies that everybody ostensibly wants, is never seen or identified, and is a straw man of sorts for the real conflicts brewing in a given situation. An example would be the contents of the briefcase in “Pulp Fiction.”
And, given the cheerfully humorous bent of this player, the name fits.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:19 pmI’ve nervous about that codename since Doyle is also the name of a character in the series Angel who died in like the 5th episode to shake up the fanbase.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:19 pmYou may refrain from “doing” my name. Too many expletives are able to come out of it.
April 18th, 2005 at 12:39 pmI think this Doyle theory would work in Football, too. Anyone heard of Ron Mexico?
April 18th, 2005 at 1:37 pmw/r/t John’s statement about not following my own rules — maybe I don’t mind if Dave Myers gets hurt.
April 18th, 2005 at 1:59 pmAny chance we could trade Doyle for John Smoltz?
And, yes, I got the Ron Mexico reference. Was that really the best they could do? Did “Jose Lima Jr.” not occur to them?
April 18th, 2005 at 2:09 pmI’d be doing backflips if we could trade Doyle for Smoltz.
April 18th, 2005 at 2:15 pmRe: #31. Macguffin might be more appropriate for another USSM unmentionable. (Rhymes with Lyin’ Coward).
On an unrelated note, leaving the “g” off of “Lying” has left me with an urge to unecessarily replace all kinds of letters with apostrophes. Somebody stop me before I “ostensibly” try to trade the entire roster for Bobby Higginson.
April 18th, 2005 at 2:26 pmNot only did the character Doyle die in Angel, Zzyzx, but the guy who PLAYED Doyle died a couple of years after being on the show. Definitely an ill omen.
April 18th, 2005 at 3:28 pmI finally figured out who you were talking about after going to the Rainiers website (more of a casual fanatic then most who post). While there I noticed the pitching stats minus King Felix and Baek are horrific! 7 pitchers out of 12 with ERAs over 5.00.
April 18th, 2005 at 3:45 pmI got to meet Doyle two years ago in San Antonio. He is nowhere near as tall as listed but as likable a person as possible.
April 18th, 2005 at 4:06 pmWe named our car (an Outback, an aussie thing) after him. Recently this car was stolen and he started playing again. perhaps this exorcised some bad spirits.
Our other Outback is named Blackley. Given the pattern, we are not naming cars after players since they keep getting hurt.
Tuesday I have behind home plate tickets to see Doyle and Felix. Small pleasures.
Glenn Quinn played Doyle, who died heroically in episode 9 of Angel, then less heroically of a heroin overdose in North Hollywood in 2002.
Less morbidly, how about calling him Crash Bandicoot? It does seem to fit, personality-wise….
April 18th, 2005 at 5:37 pmDoyle who? JK
April 18th, 2005 at 5:57 pmAnyway, when Spaz is released who wants this guy in Seattle? I hope he gets promoted and becomes the permanent bat for pinch hitting. I think for the year, just have him pinch hit and when he gets on base, pinch run someone for him. And don’t let him play the field until 2006 or 2007. Man, if the M’s had this guy and Bucky on the bench they would have a killer pinch hitting bench.
Well, I can’t join the legion of folks who can claim to have met Mr. Doyle (aka Conan the Destroyer), but I’ve seen him play, going all the way back to when he was 17; a player more the opposite of Brian L. Hunter I have never seen.
April 18th, 2005 at 7:25 pmAm I the only one completely out of the loop? What in the world are we talking about? I recognise Arthur Conan Doyle, but that’s all.
April 18th, 2005 at 7:49 pmI Think So. Check His Recently Improved Statistic Summarised Nearby (Examine Lookout Landing If Necessary) — Gareth
April 19th, 2005 at 3:50 am36 — my question to that is, why couldn’t he have gone to the team trainer or his own personal physician. Not like he wouldn’t be recognizeable in the clinic.
Anyway, I like Doyle, but “Popeye” as the first name. That way, he’d at least have some cool car chases.
April 19th, 2005 at 5:54 amRe 46!
That’s exactly what I did!
April 19th, 2005 at 6:20 am46: Gotcha. Not a bad one.
April 19th, 2005 at 6:36 am#48 : Ah, but you did find my Other Clue(tm)
April 19th, 2005 at 6:40 amI saw Doyle play last night. I grabbed a couple tickets and went to the Rainiers game. (I can’t go watch Felix tonight, unfortunately.)
He looked good. Made a couple slides (including one that looked a little awkward.) He ran well. He also smoked the ball all night long. He hit it hard every time at the plate. In the first inning, with runners on first and second and one out, he lined into a double play that was just a shot. The first baseman made a nice grab on the ball, but if he doesn’t get to it, that turns into a one- or two-run double. He also had the game winning hit in the bottom of the ninth, a well-struck ball that scored Ramon Santiago from second.
All in all, a very good night. Cold, mind you, but good.
April 19th, 2005 at 8:20 amYes, your other clue is exactly what I did!
April 19th, 2005 at 10:29 amI didn’t realize that Wiki Gonzalez had this big of a following.
April 19th, 2005 at 1:01 pmI just heard Doyle being interviewed on KJR 950 AM on my way to work. (Mitch in the Morning Show) Mitch asked him to chronologically list off all the injuries he’s had and describe the rehab, etc. It was a long and painful recounting. Actually, I arrived at work before he finished so I didn’t hear the last part.
April 20th, 2005 at 9:34 am