Mariners fandom, as seen through logical positivism

DMZ · January 13, 2006 at 9:54 am · Filed Under Mariners 

Second in a series of high-faluting articles that came out of discussions about how to cope with being a Mariner fan. You can blame Jeff for encouraging this kind of content.

True fandom is grounded not in the unquestioning belief in a team and the infallibility of everything it does. The meaning of our fandom is built on
verifiable facts, stacked one on top of another. Each fact must be verifiable, and so the fan must be both scientific and suspicious. Emotional ties are neither true or false, but meaningless.

A fan might acknowledge that Edgar Martinez is an outstanding hitter, deserving of induction into the Hall of Fame, based on his accomplishments. But an argument that he is a clutch hitter would be discarded, as that’s not a clearly verifiable claim.

However, first-person observations of specific events are evidence and can be treasured. I can describe seeing an Edgar Martinez double down the line and use that at-bat as an example of his outstanding ability.

It is through this path that much of our following for a team is built. For the experiences we’ve been through establish a long list of things that have made watching the team worthwhile. If nothing else, you can argue from this standpoint that being a fan has been rewarding by providing you with notable experiences that enriched your life.

Unfortunately, this is frequently weighed against the burden of provability, and the reasoning required by this approach. If a great team turns for the worse, bungles their success and is run incompetently, a logical positivist will be one of the first to see this, as they will be constantly weighing the actual results of the team on the field, unswayed by past years.

This unsentimental fandom provides a particularly strange and oft-scorned viewpoint: I’m a Mariner fan because of these things I’ve seen, but my fandom is waning as they continue to lose, and I suspect my time and money might bring better returns if invested elsewhere.

Comments

40 Responses to “Mariners fandom, as seen through logical positivism”

  1. nlbauers on January 13th, 2006 10:10 am

    It is fortunate for me that logical positivism fails as a philosophical platform in large part due to the fact that it is undercut by it’s own burden of provability. There are not verifiable facts that can prove the statement of logical positivism itself.

    Tis fortunate because if the logical positivism of fandom were true, I’d be compelled to be an A’s fan. ;=)

  2. DMZ on January 13th, 2006 10:15 am

    Yeah yeah, see Godel’s incompleteness theorem. No philosophical system is self-provable. That’s not really the point.

  3. nlbauers on January 13th, 2006 10:17 am

    Sorry, I thought we were making jokes.

  4. DMZ on January 13th, 2006 10:22 am

    I see no evidence of that.

    (ba-da-boom! thank you, I’ll be here all week)

  5. Evan on January 13th, 2006 10:33 am

    I (heart) logical positism. Like that’s news.

    Derek – you’re obviously referring to Gödel’s Second Incompleteness Theorem, but isn’t that itself trivial? Even if a philosophical system proved itself consistent, wouldn’t that leave the possibility that the system was inconsistent, and simply wrong about its own proof? Since inconsistent systems prove everything, that must include proofs of their own consistency.

  6. Evan on January 13th, 2006 10:33 am

    Apparently I can’t spell positivism, though.

  7. terry on January 13th, 2006 11:19 am

    Gawd people…get girl friends!

  8. DMZ on January 13th, 2006 11:24 am

    My wife would probably have some objections to that course, but thanks for the suggestion.

  9. Evan on January 13th, 2006 11:39 am

    I actually have a degree in this crap. BA Philosophy, University of Calgary, 1998.

  10. DMZ on January 13th, 2006 11:51 am

    Oh, you’re going to love the next one, then.

  11. msb on January 13th, 2006 12:18 pm

    this is different than being positively logical, right?

  12. Jim Thomsen on January 13th, 2006 12:32 pm

    #10: As seen through Ayn Rand’s eyes?

  13. Jeff on January 13th, 2006 12:41 pm

    Just wait until the one on poststructuralism. Hang onto your semiotic hats, people, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

  14. DMZ on January 13th, 2006 1:01 pm

    A hat can’t be semiotic, Jeff. It can only occupy a semiotic role as prescribed by your cultural expectations.

  15. Jeff on January 13th, 2006 1:07 pm

    But the hat is both sign and signifier, and our rendering of the hat-object as other de-structs the hat into new roles and functions, creating potential lines of flight. For the hat. Or something.

  16. msb on January 13th, 2006 1:21 pm

    jeez. and I thought we who majored in English were both prolix and pedantic 🙂

  17. eponymous coward on January 13th, 2006 1:31 pm

    Derek – you’re obviously referring to Gödel’s Second Incompleteness Theorem, but isn’t that itself trivial? Even if a philosophical system proved itself consistent, wouldn’t that leave the possibility that the system was inconsistent, and simply wrong about its own proof? Since inconsistent systems prove everything, that must include proofs of their own consistency.

    The second theorem states that mathematical systems cannot prove their own consistency- the first is the one where Gödel shows that sufficiently powerful mathematical systems are either incomplete (in that they include undecidable propositions) or inconsistent.

    I’ve always preferred the nonstandard extension (“My negation has a proof in this logical system”) to the standard extension (“I am not provable in this logical system”), but I’m a sick bastard…

  18. PaulMolitorCocktail on January 13th, 2006 1:31 pm

    A future idea for an article is applying Quantum Uncertainty to Joel Pineiro.

    On any given pitching day, Pineiro can either suck or be decent. When does the suckiness waveform collapse?

    Traditionalists would say that this doesn’t happen until Pineiro can be observed to have sucked, so he is in an indeterminate state until Hargrove pulls him out of the game.

    But if Hargrove is the observer and thus the one that collapses the wave function, perhaps there are actually two Pineiros – one good and one bad – and Hargrove, by replacing him with Matt Thornton, forces a choice on which Pineiro actually pitched the game.

  19. Mike Snow on January 13th, 2006 1:32 pm

    Just wait until the one on poststructuralism.

    Me, I’m waiting for the one on nihilism, but it’ll never happen.

  20. dan@jackson on January 13th, 2006 1:42 pm

    If we put Pineiro into Schroedinger’s box, would he be….

  21. Evan on January 13th, 2006 1:46 pm

    12 – Mariners fandom, as seen through Objectivism. Now that would be a controversial read.

    I think I’d most prefer the Scepticism piece, though. Or Logical Atomism.

  22. eponymous coward on January 13th, 2006 1:52 pm

    Or dadaisugrhoertbhr’tyu56i53 tk gi350=35o6 [p3ktrg

  23. Evan on January 13th, 2006 2:14 pm

    By replacing Piniero with Thornton, doesn’t Hargrove render the question of which Pineiro pitched moot, as we’re going to lose anyway?

    It’s an Ignostic (yes, I spelled that right) position. Since the answer to the question of Piniero’s performance, whichever it is, has no measurable consequences, does it matter?

  24. Evan on January 13th, 2006 2:43 pm

    A hat can’t be semiotic, Jeff. It can only occupy a semiotic role as prescribed by your cultural expectations.

    Couldn’t a hat that flled such a role be described as a “semiotic hat”?

  25. Mike Snow on January 13th, 2006 2:51 pm

    There’s a difference between a hat being semiotic and being described as semiotic. But now we’re mixing in ontology.

  26. Jeff on January 13th, 2006 2:56 pm

    I always get my ontology wrapped up in my epistemology. Like chocolate and peanut butter.

  27. Jeff on January 13th, 2006 2:57 pm

    Also, “semiotic hat” would be a good name for a band.

  28. Evan on January 13th, 2006 3:14 pm

    I wrap everything in epistemology. Leads to wonderfully defensible positions on just about everything.

  29. Replacement level Poster on January 13th, 2006 3:40 pm

    Sometimes I feel as if I am the dumbest person to read this blog, perhaps that is why I am replacement level.

  30. Dave in Palo Alto on January 13th, 2006 4:58 pm

    Evan, you obviously reject Everett’s Many Worlds theory. I embrace it. Joel Piniero is a perennial Cy Young winner, just not in our world. In our world, he has unfortunately brought superpositioning from the the world of quantum mechanics into the molecular world, allowing batters multiple opportunities to make contact.

  31. msb on January 13th, 2006 5:50 pm

    a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an epistemology?

  32. amdream on January 13th, 2006 6:16 pm

    Wow. Baseball fanatic philosophy majors. I feel like going to the attic and digging out that box from college that contains certain smoking implements that involve water.
    Question for philosophers: If Jeff Cirillo regularly cashes checks written to him by the Mariners, does that in fact make him a ‘baseball player’.

  33. KW on January 13th, 2006 8:01 pm

    I say we stick with political treatises. “These are times that try men’s souls…”

  34. Mike Lien on January 14th, 2006 12:21 am

    Wow I doubt I could decode what you are trying to say sober…. Drunk, I have much less confidence in my reasoning ablilities. I am going to google “logical positivism” and respond later.

  35. dlupham on January 14th, 2006 12:35 am

    #29, you are not the dumbest. At best you are in a tie with me. I couldn’t even parse some of the sentences let alone understand what was being said. I did laugh a lot however.

    David

  36. zzyzx on January 14th, 2006 6:01 am

    Just be glad that I don’t chime in with math jokes

  37. Jeff on January 14th, 2006 8:45 am

    Again, just wait until poststructuralism, where much of the point is being sure the reader can’t parse the sentences.

  38. Jonah Keri on January 14th, 2006 9:58 am

    I also started as a philosophy major before moving on to journalism (kept it as a minor after the switch). We covered really out-there stuff like Paul Ricoeur, though. My final essay in that course involved applying Ricoeur’s theories to my favorite book at the time, Shoeless Joe. Gotta love Concordia University. Go Stingers!

    Still waiting for DZ’s seminal essay: “Mariners Kant Win!”

  39. Jim Thomsen on January 14th, 2006 1:13 pm

    Or “Hegel-ing Over Budget Figures.”

  40. Chris Becker on January 14th, 2006 4:52 pm

    I would guess that an argument for “Intelligent Design” is out of the question, since we’re dealing with Bavasi here!

    Here’s a joke for all you closet philo majors:

    Rene Descartes walks into a deli, orders a ham and cheese on rye.
    The counterman says, “You want mustard with that?”
    Descartes says: “I think NOT…”
    … and he disappears

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