How many Mariner fans does it take…
DMZ · February 27, 2006 at 11:06 pm · Filed Under Mariners
…to change a lightbulb?
Two versions:
1: I don’t know, but about 30,000 a night show up hoping to see the lightbulb turn itself around.
2: Changing lightbulbs is unncessary for Mariner fans, who bask endlessly in the luminous goodness of Raul Ibanez’s soul. (props to Jonah for the idea for this one)
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3: Neither the fans paying exorbitant ticket prices, nor the organization, bleeding in the red and suffering severe financial woes, can afford lightbulbs.
Sometimes I think tha Mariners are the “poster child”, so to speak, for despair.com’s poster on Mistakes. It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
4. None – who needs lightbulbs when you can sign an oil lantern and invite it to spring training?
5. 30,001 — one Jamie Moyer to change the lightbulb and the other 30k to be wowed by his change-up.
6. 0. We prefer paying thousands of dollars for torches. Sure, they’re not as efficient of cheap as lightbulbs, but they’re proven technology!!
7. However many Willie and Jamie tell us it should take.
How many Mariner fans does it take…to change a lightbulb?
I dunno. I’ll tell you as soon as they stop doing the wave…
Hee hee hee
Zero. Because tens of thousands of fans are still basking in the glow of October 1995.