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Bill Bavasi, Awesome Talker
If you’ve been to either of the USSM events where Bill joined us and candidly and openly discussed the team, you know that he’s a pretty funny dude. But he’s generally pretty reserved in his commentary to the media - his tombstone will probably decline to give the year he was born because that information is on a need to know basis - and keeps a pretty low profile compared to some other general managers.
Not anymore. In responding to the ridiculous assertion by Marlins president David Samson that Ichiro’s contract was “the end of the world as we know it”, Bavasi said this:
“My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is, ‘(Expletive) Dave Samson,’ then don’t say anything at all,” Bavasi said Thursday. “So I’m not going to say anything at all. Is my mother the greatest or what?”
That’s hilarious on about 34 different levels.
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Whew. I think we’re out of the Willis discussions.
I think the owner thinks $90 mil, is alot of money since his teams payroll is about 1/3 of that.
I’m making sure “(Expletive) Dave Samson” is the mantra for the second-half of the season.
If “(Expletive) Dave Samson” was put on a t-shirt with the USS Mariner logo, I would definitely buy one.
#1 Great point. No way that deal happens now. I’m waiting for the inevitable retort by Samson: “Well, Bill…your mom’s a bitch!”
That is hilarious!
One thing I read in the Times today is that Ichiro wants to keep playing for the Mariners until he is nearly 50 years old!
Most of us were considering if he will be worth nearly 20 million when he is 39? Ichiro on the other hand wants to keep playing till he is nearly 50!
Bavasi has it right….Expletive Dave Samson!
I almost expected to have to pay Ichiro more.
Besides, I can think of at least one contract that would have ended the world well before Ichiro’s.
2: That, and he gets the shakes just thinking about what kind of contract he’ll have to pony up to keep Miguel Cabrera.
Good luck locking up Miguel Cabrera long-term with that kind of mindset!
He may not be a good GM, but I wouldn’t mind having Bavasi as a next-door neighbor, just so he can sit in my backyard and come up with stuff like that.
F*ck Dave Samson is President of a team that plays before empty seats in a football stadium, so he’s already familiar with the End Of Baseball.
Yay, no Dontrelle Willis!
there goes willis
I wonder if this will be the Geico “Direct Quote” tonight.
If they sold “Expletive Dave Samson!” t-shirts here, I was so wear them next time I got to a Marlin game.
I have images of Bavasi as a small child — complete with enormous, bald dome — sitting on his tricycle, listening carefully as his apron-clad mother tells him “(Expletive) Dave Samson”
#10
oops, very infrequent poster here, just that I agreed with comment 10 and would like to be added to the list of potential customers of the new t-shirt/hat.
That’s Bavasi’s funniest joke since Jose Vidro.
All of the baseball owners are making money: that’s why Meche is worth 55 million to Kansas City. Samson is one of the owners who wants to take the money and put it in his pocket, which is why he is angry. And you know, Bavasi has it dead right this time.
Thank you for the idea, Bill.
I’m pretty sure Bavasi’s Mom told him “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. He’s just extrapolating, I’m sure
Where did he say this? Off the record? Or is it just something nobody will print by tacit agreement?
davepaisley - click the link…
best. quote. ever.
4- i’d order the shirt in a heart-beat…
OK
OK, I’ve meant to make note of this before, but URL links in posts on the site are about the least obvious in the known universe.
Same font, same size, just marginally lighter. Not so easy to see. And usually they’re elegantly buried in the prose, without any hint that there’s a link there (which is a nice way to do it if there’s a more obvious tip off that there’s a link.)
I’m just saying.
Fwiw #5 would be sort of a funny shirt too
and so are we to assume that the rumors that we were the leader in trading for willis were either just rumors or are dead in the water now?
(Expletive) Dave Sampson runs a team in a market that has a larger metropolitan area than Seattle with a HUGE Latino population that is baseball crazy. The fact that they have one of the smallest payrolls in baseball and play before empty seats should be all anyone needs to know about his talent and his Daddy in Law the owner.
Oh, and I would buy a t-shirt as well.
If Bill Bavasi posted to the blog, his deletion tag would read:
[deleted, execessively awesome]
Bill, I think the team is winning largely in spite of how you’ve constructed it. But feel free to continue trying to atone for it.
Now if only Bavasi’s mom would tell him to promote Adam Jones to the team, THEN she’d be the greatest!
The most hilarious thing about the David Samson quote is that about 750 major league baseball players and countless minor league players ALSO read/saw what he said.
From now on any player who wants to get paid more than a 6-figure salary probably is having second thoughts about signing with the Marlins — that includes the guys already wearing Marlins uniforms and on a one-year contract.
#19 - nice work.
yawn.
29: Not to mention, his Daddy-in-Law Loria was also the guy who drove the final nails into the coffin of Montreal baseball by completely running the Expos into the ground some years back. That South Florida bunch should be the LAST ones to talk about how other GM’s are running their clubs — especially given the fact that even the A’s outdraw them by a margin of at least two-to-one on most nights!
BTW, I’ll take one of those t-shirts as well!
And don’t forget Marlins are the team that managed to fire the NL Manger of the Year in the year he won the award (and almost managed to get his team into the playoffs despite the best efforts of team ownership).
funny in the movie major league, the plan was to have a tiny payroll lose alot and then move to Miami!
Bavasi’s comment is pretty good, but Ichiro’s agent really laid down the smack:
“Apparently Mr. Samson has never heard of a guy named (Tom) Hicks or the Texas Rangers or something that happened there a few years ago,” Attanasio said of the A-Rod contract. “I don’t know what he’s talking about, but obviously he doesn’t know too much about baseball.”
I really want to like Bavasi, I really do.
It’s just unfortunate that he had to go and acquire guys like Vidro and Ho-Ram, it makes it difficult to do.
How much more successful — from an attendance standpoint, at least — have Florida’s expansion twin, the Rockies, been over the years? Granted, their attendance numbers have declined quite a bit recently from the phenomenal over 4-mil they drew back in ‘93, but one has to believe that that’s more due to a lack of success on the field than anything else — and despite this fact, the Rocks STILL outdraw the twice-World-Champion ‘Fish’.
It’s interesting how much of a bearing a franchise’s market and/or management can have on its success.
Dave Sampson is posturing to soften the blow that making no attempt whatsoever to retain Cabrera will have on his organisation’s feckless fan support.
Bavasi showed a lot in my eyes for not letting Sampson get away with covering their own arses by dragging the Ms FO thru the mud so publicly in a thinly disguised preemptive PR campaign. I mean if you’re too cheap to even pay your guys during their arb-eligible years, then you’re well, not really serious about winning.
Or have no idea about trying to build a winning team. See George Argyros.
Was that “Expletive Dave Sampson” - with Bill being all polite and radio edit? Or was it “[expletive deleted] Dave Sampson” a la Piniella in a Sweet Lou tirade?
Well, since I think “Expletive Dave Sampson” should be the second half rallying cry, I guess you’ll have to put me down for a shirt as well.
And I’m sure Bavasi’s mother also told him, “Bill, when you grow up and become manager of a major league baseball team and your left fielder can’t field and your DH hits into double plays at a record pace, promote your totally awesome center fielder from your AAA club.” Savvy baseball woman, that Mrs. Bavasi.
(I’m sure she said this, Bavasi just needs some of the reconstructive therapy to bring it out of the dark recesses of his mind.)
RE: 42 I hate to sound like Ramses I from The Ten Commandments, but the name of the second owner of the Seattle Mariners baseball franchise shall never be uttered by any living being. His name shall be striken from all obelisks throughout the land.
I’m not even sure why Sampson is upset. The contract is in the same ballpark at those signed by Soriano, Beltran, Wells, and Zito in about the same time frame. Putting aside the analytical approach, Ichiro is a perennial all-star and occasional MVP candidate. Soriano can match that, but the others aren’t even close.
Of the ten highest paid players listed in the P-I article, A-Rod and Manny are the only ones on a par with Ichiro.
Wabbles, in #45:
Nice reference to obelisks and deposed rulers being stricken from them. Several other names should be removed as well: Mitchell, Ayala, Anthony, Woodward, Cirillo, Spiezio, Mateo, etc.
Nice list.
#43– the TNT had the quote thus:
““My mother always told me if I couldn’t say anything nicer than ‘Screw David Samson,’ not to say anything at all, so I won’t say anything,” Bavasi said. “Is my mother great, or what?””
Now, why does Bavasi have to go and make me like him for a few minutes?
Also, how angry must their GM be now, that the primary suitor for Willis just told his boss to stick it? There goes those prospects the Mariners were sure to fork out.
I would like to add Pete O’Brien to that list if I may.
Dangit, I’m leaving for the Safe in just a little while. Had I read about this earlier I would’ve made a large “(Expletive) Dave Samson” sign.
No, no, no…you really should REMEMBER all those names…because if you don’t, you’re doomed to repeat them…
Besides, don’t you WANT to have some REAL boogiemen to frighten your children with?
Bavasi is going a long way to winning everyone back, isn’t he?
47: While we’re at it, we could always add a few more: Mesa, Davis (Russ, that is), Slocumb, Felder, O’Brien, Parrott, Everett…
you know, I get cranky thinking back to Russ Davis, and then I remember him in the ‘Bad Dancer’ commercial, and I just have to smile.
#47 and #55. Well, one other Davis belongs there, too. No, not Alvin….Ben.
“Slocumb” sends shivers down my spine…
I wonder if “Phelps” does the same to Yankee fans? Probably not - they have so much good history the bad stuff can be made into a joke. But until the day the Mariners win 27 or whatever World Series in 90 years, the name “Slocumb” will make me feel ill.
Watching Randy Winn hit a grand slam in the Fox national game today, the announcers just had to remind us that the Giants obtained him from the Mariners for Torrealba and Foppert.
57: Karen, you’re right…my short-term memory must be failing me!
But while we’re on the topical spin of BAD Mariner catchers, Mike Olive…er, Miguel Olivo suddenly comes to mind!
59: Also, when they mentioned that Little-O was having his worst season at the plate since 1991, I was just waiting for the Fox schmucks to take their traditional cheap jab at the M’s by telling everybody he was playing up here at the time.
I’m surprised that they didn’t.
47…let’s not forget Aurilia
62: Thought of him as well, but decided to grant him a slight bit o’ mercy based on the fact that at least wasn’t allowed to damage the lineup for a complete season.
62: However, unlike Aurilia, it’s too bad that Spiezio wasn’t released in the same season as well.
Wow, Samson is clueless isn’t he?
From the list of players with the 10 highest salaries, there is a total of 1 I might rather have then Ichiro, and not at $25,200,000.
65: Gotta love the power of nepotism — it can actually land you a job with a QUALITY organization like the Florida Marlins!
I literally sprayed my coffee this morning when I read Bavasi’s quote in the TNT! Looks like Bavasi has Ichiro’s back too.
I have to say, next to a Yogi Berra quote, Bavasi’s is the best I’ve ever read! Good Job Bill!
Okay, that was extremely funny, but it was nothing like a Yogiism.
Yeah. I’m pretty sure we don’t want to get too high and mighty on the nepotism angle.
Dan LeBatard (who was the one interviewing Samson the other day, making um-hmm noises while Samson vented) has a Herald column today backing Samson, primarily because of the Marlin’s poor cousin position in baseball.
Loria wants Miami/Dade County/the State of Florida/the Tooth Fairy to build him a stadium and give him all the proceeds. He’s going to scream poverty until that happens. Giardi undermined that position by demonstrating you can win (and turn a profit) in spite of a low payroll, and got fired as a reward. Loria is pocketing the luxury tax payouts, and he should be happy with that (even if that’s not what they’re supposed to be used for) but there’s still public money he wants to get his hands on. The Marlins’ payroll this year (~$30M) may be double what it was last year, but it’s half what it was in ‘05 and far lower than the ~$45M it was in ‘04, ‘03 (when they won the WS), or ‘02. Their complaints would seem a little more credible if they at least looked like they were trying to keep up (but, that would take those luxury tax profits out of Loria’s pockets).
Loria bought the Marlins in 2002 for $158M.
Forbes magazine in April 2007 valued the club at $244M.
Boo fricking hoo.
I believe Loria also made a pretty penny by selling the Expos to MLB when he bought the Marlins. He pulled the same crap in Montreal crying about a small market while comparable teams (Toronto) continued to sign Free Agents and put a competitive (if not always title winning) team on the field. He ruined baseball there and will ruin it in Florida as well. If Portland really wants a team so bad they should think twice before taking in the Marlins with Loria at the helm.
Wow, lucky for Dan LeBatard the Miami Herald still insulates its writers from reader comments on its site. Should his employer get with the program and decide to join today’s digital conversation, perhaps he and the GM and owner he so transparently apologizes for, would be held accountable for their words.
For a beat writer of a team that’s won the World Series twice in the last ten years to back up that GM’s team in criticizing a team, a city and a culture they clearly know little or nothing about isn’t just lazy, access-addicted journalism - as a reader it actually embarrasses me. Mr. “The Bastard,” an ESPN-franchisee, has been working long enough to know that Seattle is the very poster child for market conditions, or the perception thereof by athletes and their agents, precipitating the departure of stars. BEFORE championships are won.
It’s always expensive to keep a champion together - it’s when agents and players have a lot of leverage. The Marlins are unique only in that they have been stingy and short-sighted enough to eviscerate a WS winner TWICE. As the saying goes - shame on them.
Now that we finally were able to keep a star in town, it’s not our fault a notoriously venal and greedy owner and his propaganda-spewing GM have their panties in a bunch. They should try making honest money on software and video games instead of pissing and moaning about the price of talent.
BTW, cf. Dave’s earlier post, Monsieur The Bastard is wrong about the Math, too.
Next time Monsieur The Bastard decides to swallow his ankle, he might try picking on someone as lazy and stupid he is.
Just, wow.
LOL @ LeBatard becoming “The Bastard.” Elmer thinks “Palmeiro” is the term’s equivalent en Español.
I have found Le Batard to be intermittently useful in the past, but this column surprises me for a couple of reasons, largely pointed out above. But there were two things that stuck out more than the rest:
A-Rod and Andre Dawson won MVPs in last place. You need a team full of guys like that to be top-of-the-standings relevant, which is something the Mariners haven’t been for a long time.
The M’s have the fifth best record in the majors, better than any NL team. Is Le Batard not aware of this?
The 2003 Marlins payroll of $54 million doesn’t even buy you Royals pitcher Gil Meche today.
Meche’s contract is not $55MM per year. This is a *really* annoying strawman; if anyone has the chance to call out people who use it, consider yourself implored.
75: Love that LeBatard assertion that the M’s are “irrelevant” — isn’t that EXACTLY what his precious corporate-welfare-poster-child Marlins have been in, like, EVERY year besides the two in which they connived their way to the WS?
Gee, I guess it must get a little boring if you’re a sports writer in that town during hurricane season when you’re sitting around waiting for the ‘Canes and Dolphins to start playing!