Actually, turns out that’s toxic and really, really bad for you

DMZ · June 9, 2008 at 2:56 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

Baker, quoting Elia:

“In everything in life, sometimes change is better,” he said. “Sometimes you make an omelette in a baggie and put it in boiling water and it comes out just as juicy and even better than if you fry it.”

I’m serious, munching on eggs saturated with melty long-chain polymers turns out to be bad for your health. Don’t do it.

Comments

49 Responses to “Actually, turns out that’s toxic and really, really bad for you”

  1. bratman on June 9th, 2008 2:58 pm

    “Sometimes you make an omelette in a baggie and put it in boiling water and it comes out just as juicy and even better than if you fry it.”

    YES!! My day is complete. Just throw out confusing analogies and pretend its okay.

    WOW. I am in baseball hell. [you’re gonna make it, just breathe]

  2. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 3:00 pm

    …What?

    What in the world is he even TRYING to say with that quote?

  3. jro on June 9th, 2008 3:08 pm

    It’s like listening to my in-laws at Thanksgiving.

  4. bratman on June 9th, 2008 3:09 pm

    honestly, that quote is more confusing than anything I heard Ichiro say IN JAPANESE.

    we are done for. its over. the sky is falling. ship is sinking. someone find me a nice quartet to play depressing songs as we drift endlessly into the cold dark ocean.

    All I have is Dennis Raben playing in the College World Series and somehow rooting for Lou and the Cubs.

  5. msb on June 9th, 2008 3:09 pm

    I think he should go back to “looking good, Edgar”

  6. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 3:17 pm

    I’d just like to go on record as saying:

    I don’t WANT my eggs to be juicy.

  7. Mariner Fan in CO Exile on June 9th, 2008 3:28 pm

    Announcer: Now you too can enjoy eggs the way Major Leaguers Do!

    [pan to group of huddled players waiting in line, holding raw eggs in plastic bags, Lee Elia stands in the center of them over a hot pot with boiling water]

    Announcer: That’s right kids, it’s Lee Elia’s Baggie Eggs!

    [Extreme close-up of Lee Elia, grinning with eggs, now scrambled in the mostly melted baggie]

    Lee: See, kids, my omelettes in a baggie come out just as juicy and even better than if you fry it.

    Announcer reading disclaimer: Do not try this at home. Children under the age of 12 should not use hot pots, stoves or baggie eggs without adult supervision. Plastic bags may cause choking, cancer, or really crappy eggs.

  8. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 3:32 pm

    Doesn’t Elia realize that his age and wisdom might inspire younger minds to try this dangerous activity?

    Kids at home might be trying to make baggie eggs AS WE SPEAK.

    Please…won’t somebody think of the children?

  9. Milendriel on June 9th, 2008 3:33 pm

    wtf

  10. msb on June 9th, 2008 3:35 pm

    besides, everyone knows you cook eggs in a dish in the microwave.

  11. JasonAChurchill on June 9th, 2008 3:49 pm

    Who needs a dish for that, msb?

  12. crazyray7391 on June 9th, 2008 3:54 pm

    I think Elia ate an omlet that came out of a baggie that was in boiling water before he made this quote.

    Maybe he’s planning on feeding Sexson these omlets until he’s so sick that they have to bench him.

  13. MattThompson on June 9th, 2008 3:55 pm

    ‘We’ve secretly replaced the M’s regular post-game spread with Uncle Lee’s Baggie Eggs®. Let’s see how Carlos Silva and Pepe Vidro react.’

  14. JMHawkins on June 9th, 2008 3:57 pm

    Will these replace Rally Fries?

  15. Gabriel on June 9th, 2008 4:01 pm

    This season really is a hot bag of juicy eggs.

  16. matthew on June 9th, 2008 4:05 pm

    Well, now we know what they eat before each game in the USS Failboat.

  17. matthew on June 9th, 2008 4:05 pm

    JMHawkins — that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in this blog in weeks. Thank you for that 😀

  18. MedicineHat on June 9th, 2008 4:06 pm

    Actually, that quote was quite funny to me. My sister-in-law was in town last weekend (no,no,no…that’s not the bad part yet). She is on some kind of diet where everything she eats is powdered, but when you mix it with water, put it in a baggy and throw it in the microwave for a few seconds it turns into some kind of disgusting food. The one she had for breakfast was egg omelette. Turns out, it look slike real eggs….but tastes like sh%%.

    anyway, back to your regular scheduled programming.

  19. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 4:06 pm

    Maybe these should be a last-minute addition to the menu for the USSM/LL gathering this weekend.

    I’ll bring the baggies!

  20. matthew on June 9th, 2008 4:11 pm

    Okay, most of these responses are hilarious. I think for tonight’s entertainment, I’ll just keep tonight’s game off and refresh this page for new comments.

  21. et_blankenship on June 9th, 2008 4:11 pm

    I’ll have to check Snopes, but I’m pretty sure “Toxic Omelette” was the original concept for the Toxic Avenger movie. Teenage outcast Lee Elia eats a plastic baggie omelette before school then, during a particularly brutal and humiliating dodgeball beatdown, Elia transforms and mutates into an omelette . . . A Toxic Omelette. Trashy, low-budget horror and comedy ensues, the climax of which is the Mariners 2008 season.

  22. BringUpBalentien on June 9th, 2008 4:12 pm

    Maybe the m’s should be threatened with “Uncle Lee’s Baggie Eggs®”. Instead of benching players, anyone who performs under a certain standard must compete in a competitive eating contest. Of course,(spoiler:cynic ahead) the management would set the standard at ~180/220/280.

  23. skjes on June 9th, 2008 4:14 pm

    What if we boil the omelettes in Papau New Guinea beer? Would that make it better?

  24. BringUpBalentien on June 9th, 2008 4:15 pm

    “I’ll have to check Snopes, but I’m pretty sure “Toxic Omelette” was the original concept for the Toxic Avenger movie. Teenage outcast Lee Elia eats a plastic baggie omelette before school then, during a particularly brutal and humiliating dodgeball beatdown, Elia transforms and mutates into an omelette . . . A Toxic Omelette. Trashy, low-budget horror and comedy ensues, the climax of which is the Mariners 2008 season.” that has to be the quote of the thread.

  25. hans on June 9th, 2008 4:19 pm

    Sous vide eggs? What a great idea!

  26. MyOhMy on June 9th, 2008 4:49 pm

    Chez Elia! Maybe the recipe will show up in the Mariner Wives cookbook this summer …

  27. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 4:50 pm

    This thread is educational, too.

    I’d never heard of “sous vide” before!

  28. whiskeychainsaw on June 9th, 2008 5:17 pm

    You know, the quote was pretty arbitrary but I’ve actually had Sous Vide omelets and they are damn good if done correctly. They were salmon and cream cheese iirc.

    That being said, I have no idea how a new style of omelete can help this moribund franchise. We need a new style of leadership, not new ways to grub us some eggs.

  29. Ralph_Malph on June 9th, 2008 5:20 pm

    I just googled baggie scrambled eggs and got a whole bunch of terrific recipes for boiled-in-the-baggie eggs. In case anyone is interested.

  30. Eastside Crank on June 9th, 2008 5:24 pm

    The Boy Scouts recommend boiled eggs in baggies for campouts. You put your omelette’s ingredients in the baggie and squish them up with your hand and throw it in the boiling water. Cleanup is a cinch unlike having to scrub an aluminum frying pan.

  31. MKT on June 9th, 2008 5:51 pm

    #30 beat me to it: I was about to point out that “boil in the bag cooking” is a popular technique for backpackers who want to save weight and time: instead of mixing stuff and cooking various ingredients, you pre-measure various dried ingredients (cous-cous, minute rice, dried vegetables, seasonings) into plastic bags and take the bags with you on the trail. Most of the time you don’t even have to boil the bag, just pour the proper amount of hot water into it, put it in some insulated container, wait for 10 minutes, and then eat.

    Seattle being the home of REI and The Mountaineers, I’m a bit surprised that so many people are taken aback by the technique.

    It’s also a good thing to know for how to cook after an earthquake, when electricity and natural gas will be non-existent (or lethal, in the case of downed power lines and broken gas lines). Although simply having cans of food around will do you pretty well too.

  32. terry on June 9th, 2008 5:55 pm

    People, bis phenol A (BPA)will kill you. Send letters and email the the Mariners FO asking why they apparently support promoting breast cancer and early onset of puberty,obesity and diabetes….

    This is even worse than lesbians.

    😛

  33. Jeff Nye on June 9th, 2008 5:55 pm

    So, that quote was clearly Elia’s gritty veteran cooking skills coming into play.

  34. bratman on June 9th, 2008 8:08 pm

    Elia is clearly the reason why we won today.

    I’d love to see DMZ with some stats on Bavasi-action-the-day-before-a-ball-game/wins ratio. I don’t think we have enough coaches to fire / Bavasi blowups to get back in this race.

  35. Mere Tantalisers on June 9th, 2008 8:11 pm

    Of the many ways to make eggs, this has to be one of the least efficient or aesthetically pleasing. A lot like the way the Mariners score runs.

    As for the plasticizers, yeah they’re not great for you but… I dunno. The baggie omelette is going to be the least of your worries if you’re concerned about those.

  36. arbeck on June 9th, 2008 10:48 pm

    I’m late to the party, but you can cook eggs in plastic provided that it’s the right plastic. StretchTite brand is A-OK.

  37. PaulMolitorCocktail on June 9th, 2008 10:58 pm

    Maybe Elia is speaking of the infamous MRE “omelet”?

  38. bonesbarry on June 10th, 2008 1:25 am

    Things to be thankful for, 2008 Seattle Mariners Baseball Season:
    I’m glad I didn’t grow up eating breakfast in the Elia household…..
    THIS GUY IS NUTS

  39. ChrisB on June 10th, 2008 7:56 am

    I think we need Jason to make a guest re-appearance and explain sous-vide cooking to the masses – not for backpackers but 3 star french cooking. Seal your food in a plastic bag (a special one) and cook it at a low even temperature. It produces better results in many cases because the chef can keep the emperature exactly even.

  40. Kunkoh on June 10th, 2008 8:28 am

    This sounds like the coffee cup was myth/urban legend. You know the one where the guy drinks coffee from a shop all the time, and eventually starves to death. During the autopsy, they pull out a 5pound ball of wax from his stomach that had gathered there from melting off the coffee cups when he drank coffee.

    So, I’m calling baggie eggs are toxic in the same myth. (maybe we should write in to Mythbusters?)

  41. Gilgameche on June 10th, 2008 9:07 am

    [long link]

  42. DMZ on June 10th, 2008 9:10 am

    This isn’t a myth.

    Household bags aren’t designed to be boiled, especially to be exposed to the extremely-hot fat-rich eggs/cheese of an omelet. They can and sometimes will melt in the boiling, which means you get omelet fixings everywhere and/or melted plastic bag in your breakfast. There’s an actual disclaimer up on SP Johnson’s website, if I remember, saying “don’t do this”

    If you want, there are two assertions here, really:
    1. The bag can melt with ill results (how often this occurs/what happens/etc I can’t know)
    2. Eating delicious melty plastic is bad for you (is it? how bad?)

  43. Jeff Nye on June 10th, 2008 9:22 am

    So, if you want to do the sous vide thing, you need special bags for it?

  44. Evan on June 10th, 2008 12:25 pm

    Yes. You can sous vide safely, but not with household baggies.

  45. Ralph_Malph on June 10th, 2008 1:19 pm

    And don’t use ziploc bags for this.

  46. joser on June 10th, 2008 1:50 pm

    The ones that are safe (at least for microwave use, I’m not sure about dropping them in boiling water) are called “Zip’n Steam”

    I have to say, this post and comment thread is one of my favorites ever. The entire thing is made of win (kind of the opposite of the Mariners, and their hitting).

  47. joser on June 10th, 2008 1:52 pm

    Seattle being the home of REI and The Mountaineers, I’m a bit surprised that so many people are taken aback by the technique.

    So many people are taken aback by exposing themselves to carcinogens? Or so many backpackers are going to be taken aback when they discover they have cancer?

  48. joser on June 10th, 2008 1:53 pm

    The Boy Scouts recommend boiled eggs in baggies for campouts.

    I always suspected the Boy Scouts were trying to kill me. It’s bad enough the girls keep stalking me with those horrible cookies.

  49. Evan on June 10th, 2008 2:48 pm

    Girl Guide cookies were awesome until they switched to a recipe without trans fats.

    Cookies need trans fats.

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