You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Dave · July 10, 2008 at 5:52 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

So, remember a while ago, I proposed the Full Nelson plan, suggesting that the Mariners should use the fact that they have several months to audition potentially useful players from Triple-A who wouldn’t otherwise get a shot at the bigs and see if they could be of some value, specifically naming Nelson Cruz and Brad Nelson as potential targets.

Well, with Sexson gone, the M’s have indeed acquired a Triple-A first baseman – Craig Wilson. Yea, that same 31 year old you remember kicking around Pittsburgh a few years ago, now past his prime, and hitting .230/.323/.396 for Indianapolis.

He’s right-handed, doesn’t walk, strikes out a lot, is a bad defensive player, and is near the end of his career. Sounds like exactly the kind of guy this organization should be acquiring…

Comments

90 Responses to “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up”

  1. Benne on July 10th, 2008 5:55 pm

    Does he still have the cool mullet? Because that would be the only thing worth watching him for.

  2. themedia on July 10th, 2008 5:55 pm

    Well that’s just lovely.

  3. gwangung on July 10th, 2008 5:55 pm

    Toldya. It wasn’t just Bavasi…It’s the entire organization.

  4. gwangung on July 10th, 2008 5:55 pm

    Toldya. It wasn’t just Bavasi…It’s the entire organization.

  5. Jeff Nye on July 10th, 2008 5:58 pm

    What in the world are they thinking?

  6. killer_ewok18 on July 10th, 2008 5:59 pm

    Well, they didn’t want to lose any veteranocity.

  7. Mr. Egaas on July 10th, 2008 6:01 pm

    So we booted Sexson to acquire a shorter, fatter Sexson?

  8. dlb on July 10th, 2008 6:06 pm

    I shudder to think what else Pele has up his sleeves.

  9. RoscoJW on July 10th, 2008 6:09 pm

    Let’s look on the bright side: He’s a veteran…and I bet he’s probably great for the clubhouse chemistry. Oh wait…I said bright side…crap.

  10. WardP on July 10th, 2008 6:09 pm

    To slightly rephrase Jeff at #5:

    WHAT? In the world, are they thinking?

  11. killer_ewok18 on July 10th, 2008 6:10 pm

    Don’t worry guys… Strasburg is within reach.

    50 of the M’s remaining games (69) are against teams that currently hold an above-.500 record.

    The Padres have 17 games against winning teams. The Nats have 38, and the Indians have 44.

    Team L W PCT GB

    Nats 35 .380 -
    Mariners 56 36 .391 1
    Padres 56 36 .391 1
    Indians 53 37 .411 3

  12. killer_ewok18 on July 10th, 2008 6:11 pm

    Ack.

    Team L W PCT GB

    Nats 57 35 .380 -
    Mariners 56 36 .391 1
    Padres 56 36 .391 1
    Indians 53 37 .411 3

  13. pygmalion on July 10th, 2008 6:12 pm

    Hopefully this is just a typical stupid move done for no reason – “Hey, if we bring up LaHair, we’ll need another 1B at Tacoma.” “Here’s a guy…he’s not much good but we can get him cheap.” “Okay, get him” – and not meant to actually achieve something with the Major League club.

    But to be honest I don’t know why I bother hoping that this organization will make sensible decisions.

  14. msb on July 10th, 2008 6:15 pm

    oh for petesake.

    it’s not even the right Pirate Wilson.

  15. jephdood on July 10th, 2008 6:16 pm

    Eesh.

    So, what’s the ‘plan’? Have him play first until (ick) LaHair’s toe is ready? Or, leave him in AAA to fill the gap there after they call up LaHair?

    Please god don’t tell me Craig Wilson is going to be our 1B the rest of the year.. That’s even dumber than giving the position to Vidro or Cairo.

  16. bermanator on July 10th, 2008 6:16 pm

    What’d Seattle give up for him? Some old Sonics jerseys?

    I love the Full Nelson plan though (but I’d be shocked if Texas dealt Nelson Cruz within the division, at least not for what Seattle should be willing to pay)

  17. jephdood on July 10th, 2008 6:21 pm

    When we take our yearly household trip to the dump, and purge ourselves of all the crap we’ve built up over the winter, I feel great. CLEANSED.

    Well, the Mariners just backed their truck up.. tossed out an old broken lamp.. rummaged around.. and picked up a stinky old recliner.

  18. msb on July 10th, 2008 6:22 pm

    from Charlie at BucsDugout:

    “…Craig Wilson has been shipped the Mariners for a PTBNL. This may surprise those of you who did not realize Wilson was back in the Pirates organization, but he’d been hitting badly but with some power at Class AAA Indianapolis. It’s ironic that the Mariners are acquiring Wilson in the wake of the release of Richie Sexson, since Wilson (much as I still love him) has Richie Sexson disease as bad as anyone ever did. He’ll hit the occasional homer, but he won’t hit higher than .210 in the majors. Normally I’d assume Wilson will just be minor league depth for the Mariners, but the M’s called up a second baseman (Tug Hulett) to take Sexson’s place on the major league roster, and they’re currently going with converted infielders Jose Vidro and Miguel Cairo at first. Neither Vidro or Cairo are better than Sexson, whose salary they’re eating. Given the available options, I wouldn’t be shocked if Wilson made it back to the big leagues with the Mariners. Wilson’s not better than Sexson either, but whatever–the Mariners don’t make any sense. Anyway, I assume the PTBNL the Pirates get won’t be anyone of consequence, but perhaps I shouldn’t assume anything, given the team they’re trading with.”

  19. Jeff Nye on July 10th, 2008 6:22 pm

    I can’t even bring myself to be mad about this; it just doesn’t make any SENSE.

  20. ChrisB on July 10th, 2008 6:26 pm

    Uh somebody above called him a veteran. Wrong. He is a Proven Veteran (trademark H. Lincoln).

  21. bermanator on July 10th, 2008 6:27 pm

    It’s like you’re finally getting the junk out of the house by holding a garage sale … but then go out to your neighbor’s table and pick up some of his useless crap to replace it.

  22. batura on July 10th, 2008 6:31 pm

    He is a Proven Veteran (trademark H. Lincoln).

    Better than a Professional Hitter as far as I can tell.

  23. MattThompson on July 10th, 2008 6:31 pm

    Anything short of a full cleansing of the front office this offseason is going to be a disappointment. This franchise is quickly becoming a full-blown farce, in the truest sense of the word. An over-the-top exaggeration of a badly run baseball team.

    They really are like the dumb guy in every fantasy league, who thinks he knows baseball, but really only remembers the names of guys he saw on Baseball Tonight three years ago. ‘Jose Vidro? Hey, he was an All-Star! Horacio Ramirez? He pitched for the Braves, and they’ve got the best pitching in baseball. Craig Wilson? I remember him. Hit a bunch of homers once!’ Then whines to the league all year about his perennial rotten luck, and wonders how the guy with Chase Utley and Hanley Ramirez is getting fluke years from his roster (remember Lincoln’s comments about Oakland a few years back?).

  24. MattThompson on July 10th, 2008 6:36 pm

    Oh, man, when Pirates fans are making fun of our front office, things really have hit a new low.

  25. Mendoza Line on July 10th, 2008 6:39 pm

    I am so depressed. Sexson finally gone, but now three months of Vidro, Cairo….and Craig Wilson? Really? I give up.
    How soon until we get a total regime change? I can’t watch this train wreck anymore. I hope when this is over, the only familiar faces are Felix, Ichiro!, Beltre, Clement, Morrow, Putz (for facial hair purposes, mostly) and maybe Dickey (always interesting to have a knuckleballer). I couldn’t care less about the rest of this mess of a roster.
    Obviously, I’m not adding much to the discussion, because I’m sure most of you feel the same way.
    Uggh.

  26. joser on July 10th, 2008 6:39 pm

    Wilson’s not better than Sexson either, but whatever–the Mariners don’t make any sense.

    I’m glad to hear this team looks as incomprehensible from the outside as it does from here within the belly of the beast. The bizarro moves have been going on so long I’m no longer sure what constitutes sensible reality. I’m starting to think we’re all imaginary fans of Franz Kafka’s fantasy team.

  27. msb on July 10th, 2008 6:43 pm

    hmm. Jeff Nelson on the release of Richie:

    “a lot of it was media-driven”.

    he also thinks Richie’d be ‘great’ in the NL.

  28. James T on July 10th, 2008 6:44 pm

    I really don’t understand a team that is in a bad way and can give free trials to youngsters having any interest in Craig Wilson. What’s the point?

  29. HamNasty on July 10th, 2008 6:44 pm

    I really don’t care about this move. I watch the games for Ichiro, Beltre, and Felix and a few young guns coming up. Replacing awful player #1 with #2 doesn’t phase me or change my opinion of the team, the FO is who I thought they were.

  30. Steve T on July 10th, 2008 6:45 pm

    Are the Mariners trying to break the record for the Highest Number Of Totally Worthless Players Used At The Easiest Position To Fill In A Single Season?

    I can imagine the conversation — “How old is he?” — “Still young, only 31″ — “Patient? How many walks?” — “I dunno, I didn’t write that down” — “How’s his defense?” — “He’s got a first baseman’s mitt on in this picture here.”

  31. BillyJive on July 10th, 2008 6:48 pm

    You know…I was hoping the Mariners would not make ANY moves until they had proper management in place. Then I realized…this is the Mariners we’re talking about…will they EVER have proper management in place.
    It sure sucks sometimes to cheer for a team where the people in charge of it siply have no clue.
    On the other hand my Nintendo Gameboy works pretty good…

  32. BillyJive on July 10th, 2008 6:49 pm

    And yes..I am learning how to spelly simply…

  33. terry on July 10th, 2008 6:51 pm

    Really at this point, who cares?

    Being an Ms fan is the sports equivalent of watching a loved one fighting a losing battle with an addiction.

    The only real question is where is the bottom? Are we there yet?

  34. Mike Snow on July 10th, 2008 6:53 pm

    This reminds me terribly of the bad old days drinking the dregs of careers like Gary Matthews (the original) and Barry Bonnell. And even those were better players than this.

  35. msb on July 10th, 2008 6:53 pm

    He’s right-handed, doesn’t walk, strikes out a lot, is a bad defensive player, and is near the end of his career

    and is coming over from the NL!!!

  36. jephdood on July 10th, 2008 6:53 pm

    Well, we dumped crap and picked up crap. One can only hope that the PTBNL follows that same crap lineage and the deal will be totally inconsequential.

  37. Steve T on July 10th, 2008 6:55 pm

    I assume the PTBNL will be Triunfel or Halman?

  38. cdowley on July 10th, 2008 6:56 pm

    When I heard this morning that they were going to do this I thought my buddy was playing a joke on me…

    Excuse me, I need to go vomit now…

  39. msb on July 10th, 2008 6:58 pm

    Well, we dumped crap and picked up crap. One can only hope that the PTBNL follows that same crap lineage and the deal will be totally inconsequential.

    Sexson???

  40. terry on July 10th, 2008 7:04 pm

    While Wilson’s shoulder injury has zapped all of his power (a bad thing considering his value was derived almost solely from an ability to hit lefties), we can only assume it hasn’t affected his ability to not “slump his shoulders” when learning he’s not in the lineup….

    The Ms have a marathon’s worth of work ahead of them just to reestablish a minimum threshold of credibility as as a competent organization. Sadly, they’re really out of shape so they haven’t even begun the training necessary to reasonably believe that they could even successfully finish such a race.

  41. joser on July 10th, 2008 7:05 pm

    Then whines to the league all year about his perennial rotten luck, and wonders how the guy with Chase Utley and Hanley Ramirez is getting fluke years from his roster (remember Lincoln’s comments about Oakland a few years back?).

    Heck, how about Armstrong just six weeks ago, when — while announcing Bavasi and McLaren were in no danger of losing their jobs (”Their positions are secure,” Armstrong told MLB.com from his Bellevue, Wash., home. “They are not to be blamed for what’s going on.”) — he said

    “In my 23 years, I have never ever seen anything like this,” Armstrong said. “We saw it the other way in 2001. I mean, you have to ask yourself, ‘How did the Mariners win 116 games that season with that roster, compared to this roster?’ This is just as inexplicable the other way.”

    Only inexplicable to the clueless. Then again, he works for a guy who claims “In my own mind, I’ve used statistical analysis the whole time I’ve been in the game” and “We’ve been improving every year since 2004″

    So which is worse — obliviousness or self-delusion?

  42. JMHawkins on July 10th, 2008 7:08 pm

    While Wilson’s shoulder injury has zapped all of his power …

    Holy Schmoly! He is Richie’s shorter twin.

  43. bratman on July 10th, 2008 7:12 pm

    please say every sports occurance since Jan 6th 2008 is part of one sick nightmare … please wake me up soon.

  44. joser on July 10th, 2008 7:12 pm

    “a lot of it was media-driven”.

    We wish. If this town had a media that actually recognized bad deals and worthless players and asked pointed question rather than just parroting whatever script the front office hands them, the team might’ve been forced to make the kind of changes that would’ve avoided much of this mess in the first place (or at least the average fan would’ve gotten better warning of the cliff the team was driving over).

  45. stadiumway on July 10th, 2008 7:16 pm

    How dare you, sir. Chris Wilson is a VETERAN who has been through WARS!

    If only we could release that pesky Beltre and bring in another strong veteran like Corey Koskie.

  46. Steve T on July 10th, 2008 7:21 pm

    Sexson, Cairo, Vidro, Norton, soon to be Wilson, presumably LaHair at some point, and you know at some point Willie’s going to play a few games at first — he always does (five years running). Wow. What a crew.

    How can you not have a first baseman?

    This is like if the Seahawks showed up for camp and suddenly realized they didn’t have any players over 190 pounds.

    Is Cecil Fielder still alive?

  47. Mothy on July 10th, 2008 7:32 pm

    So how long until we see this lineup?

    RF-Ichiro
    2B-Cairo
    LF-Ibanez
    DH-Vidro
    1B-Wilson
    C-Johjima
    CF-Bloomquist
    SS-Betancourt

    Seriously… It’s going to happen. And soon. Prepare yourself.

  48. Mothy on July 10th, 2008 7:33 pm

    Oops forgot Beltre… Stick him in their in the number 5 hole. Still looks terrible.

  49. scott19 on July 10th, 2008 7:41 pm

    What in the world are they thinking?

    Keep in mind, this is the same organization who, even in the better of times (i.e. back when Woody was GM), tried to ride out the last half of the 1999 season after trading David Segui with the 1B combo of Ryan Jackson, Edgar/Bone/Dan Wilson/David Bell (all of whom were cool — albeit out of position), and um, Mike Blowers.

  50. smb on July 10th, 2008 7:46 pm

    “a lot of it was media-driven”.

    We wish. If this town had a media that actually recognized bad deals and worthless players and asked pointed question rather than just parroting whatever script the front office hands them, the team might’ve been forced to make the kind of changes that would’ve avoided much of this mess in the first place (or at least the average fan would’ve gotten better warning of the cliff the team was driving over).

    Charlton was a fun player to watch and is an occasionally entertaining personality, but I think there’s just acorn shells in his head or something. I’m sure he would only say that as a way to deflect from the fact that Sexson was terrible and should have been gone long ago. Nice and loyal, but I don’t see where he’s had reason to conclude the club’s management makes decisions based on the media.

    How can you not have a first baseman?

    Or a DH, someone who doesn’t even have to wear a glove, or a fourth outfielder, or a manager who knows how to make a lineup, or…?

  51. Paul L on July 10th, 2008 7:48 pm

    I wonder what Sexson’s thinking. He’s probably just shaking his head and laughing.

  52. smb on July 10th, 2008 7:48 pm

    Thinking about all the holes, it seems quaint that I use to hate that we could never find a decent left fielder. Now I know what it’s like not to even be able to field a full lineup of guys who deserve to be in the league.

  53. msb on July 10th, 2008 7:52 pm

    Charlton was a fun player to watch and is an occasionally entertaining personality, but I think there’s just acorn shells in his head or something. I’m sure he would only say that as a way to deflect from the fact that Sexson was terrible and should have been gone long ago.

    actually, it was Jeff Nelson; as we know, with Nellie there isn’t always a lot of thought that goes into what comes out of his mouth …

  54. thegunner on July 10th, 2008 7:53 pm

    Where is George Argyros when you need him?

  55. abender20 on July 10th, 2008 7:56 pm

    More sickening front office trash. This is not only inexcusable, but it is also detestable. How is it possible to run a team so wrongly. No, I don’t mean poorly. The FO has made every possible wrong move, and continues to do so. It’s hard to watch.

  56. scott19 on July 10th, 2008 7:57 pm

    as we know, with Nellie there isn’t always a lot of thought that goes into what comes out of his mouth …

    Oh c’mon now, Nellie’s about as hard-hitting as it gets! ;)

  57. jlc on July 10th, 2008 7:58 pm

    I shudder to think what else Pele has up his sleeves.

    Of course, Pelé Pele never played baseball as far as I know, but at 67, coming from a sport where he didn’t use his hands, I’d still rather see him in the Mariner front office.

    He’s . . . near the end of his career.

    Lordy, I’m so blase’ about the Mariners, my first thought was that it would be a nice change to at least have him just this side of the end instead of the Rick White side. It took another few beats before I realized there was another universe of options.

  58. jlc on July 10th, 2008 7:59 pm

    Do you have a link button for the stupidly simple-minded???

  59. scott19 on July 10th, 2008 8:02 pm

    To be fair, Pele could probably hit about as well as Vidro, Cairo or Wilson these days.

  60. rufusgufus on July 10th, 2008 8:09 pm

    I am surprised with all the good, young, defensive minded, power hitting, first baseman available the M’s would make such a lame move.

  61. Steve T on July 10th, 2008 8:13 pm

    JLC, it’s the one marked “link” right above the commenting box.

  62. Adam S on July 10th, 2008 8:17 pm

    Yeh Wilson isn’t part of the M’s future. But they still have to play the last 70 games, and Tacoma has another 50 to play. And someone has to play 1B for both of them. And it sure shouldn’t be Cairo or Vidro. If you’re expecting big things from our interim GM, prepare to be disappointed.

  63. Steve T on July 10th, 2008 8:24 pm

    Not big things, Adam, but not pig-stupid things either. Wilson isn’t better than Cairo or Vidro or Sexson. He’s probably worse. And there are dozens of (slightly) better guys lying around free.

  64. jephdood on July 10th, 2008 8:28 pm

    How’s that knee feelin’, Bucky? Grab yer glove!

  65. jason2 on July 10th, 2008 8:29 pm

    Hopefully this means they’ll release Vidro. Releasing Sexson and Vidro they’d be desperate for a body at first. I need a Vidro vesting option update. Is he on pace for it to vest?

  66. jephdood on July 10th, 2008 8:29 pm

    jason2: No. WAAAAY off. It ain’t gonna happen.

  67. Tom in Edmonds on July 10th, 2008 8:45 pm

    Is there a link on this info besides Charlie from the Buc Dugout? Thanks!

  68. scott19 on July 10th, 2008 8:48 pm

    Hopefully this means they’ll release Vidro.

    But, but…who will be left to do the ads for Old Country Buffet?

    Oh, wait…Silva’s still on the roster!

  69. msb on July 10th, 2008 8:52 pm

    Is there a link on this info besides Charlie from the Buc Dugout?

    here

  70. mrmitra on July 10th, 2008 8:56 pm

    If he stays in AAA as someone to fill a gap is it still horrible?

  71. Tom in Edmonds on July 10th, 2008 9:00 pm

    Thank you msb!

  72. jlc on July 10th, 2008 9:05 pm

    Steve T, thanks, but I keep screwing that up. It’s a special skill.

  73. rbandre on July 10th, 2008 9:06 pm

    Not to beat a dead horse here, but the M’s just drafted a 1B from Miami who is hitting .688 in Everett and is 20. Can we perhaps fast track him to Tacoma at least?

  74. busplunger on July 10th, 2008 9:21 pm

    As long as Craig Wilson’s name stays off the 40-man roster, I’m cool.

    The four scariest words on the transaction wire are “purchased the contract of”.

  75. CaptainPoopy on July 10th, 2008 9:30 pm

    I’m so stoked to see the kid from Miami. His stroke is freakin’ awesome and he seems to have some promise… more than anyone else on the current 25 (as far as hitters go).

  76. MattThompson on July 10th, 2008 9:43 pm

    Not to beat a dead horse here, but the M’s just drafted a 1B from Miami who is hitting .688 in Everett and is 20. Can we perhaps fast track him to Tacoma at least?

    Key words are ‘just drafted,’ ‘Everett,’ and ‘20.’ Let’s let the kid spend at least a month as a pro before we start annointing him our next starting first baseman.

  77. J.L. White on July 10th, 2008 9:45 pm

    Considering all the smart baseball fans here in Seattle, it seems that the Mariners FO’s first priority is EMBARRASSING us in front of the rest of the nation.

    Even without Bavasi, this team can have a good idea stand right in front of them, and they wouldn’t see a goddamn thing. If Wilson was seriously the only option the M’s had, it would have been a thousand times smarter to do nothing at all.

    Sometimes I wonder why I still give a crap…..

  78. Omerta on July 10th, 2008 9:59 pm

    And the inpetitude continues…

    ::reaches for some more wild turkey::

  79. Omerta on July 10th, 2008 10:00 pm

    Ah, hm. Inpetitude. In my defense I actually am drinking.

  80. bratman on July 10th, 2008 10:13 pm

    Sometimes I wonder why I still give a crap…..

    baseball is a viscious mistress

  81. qwerty on July 10th, 2008 10:40 pm

    When we take our yearly household trip to the dump, and purge ourselves of all the crap we’ve built up over the winter, I feel great. CLEANSED.

    Well, the Mariners just backed their truck up.. tossed out an old broken lamp.. rummaged around.. and picked up a stinky old recliner.

    Post of the Day!!!!

  82. mrmitra on July 10th, 2008 11:01 pm

    Pelekoudas calls Daniels:
    Pelekoudas: “Hey Jon, you know that Nelson Cruz guy that’s rotting in your farm system? How much would you want for us to take him off your hands?”
    Daniels: “Cruz… oh yes that guy that USS Mariner talked about! You know those guys are pretty smart. Man it would take a guy like Felix Hernandez for me to part with a blue chip prospect like Nelson Cruz.”
    Pelekoudas: “What the hell? Cruz couldn’t hit off Felix even if Felix threw underhand! And you think that’s an even trade?!?”
    Daniels: “Sorry bro. The USS Mariners gods have spoken. Ever since they wrote that article our phones have been ringing off the hook. Highest offer right now is A-rod with the Yankees eating some of the contract.”
    -click-

    Pelekoudas then calls Melvin
    Pelekoudas: “Hey Doug, you know Brad Nelson? Down there in AAA? What would you want in return for him?”
    Melvin: “Nelson eh? My fanbase is clamoring that we should get no less than Felix for him, but I’ll admit, we need pitching bad. I’ll do Nelson for Bedard straight across.”
    Pelekoudas: “Am I having a bad dream?”
    Melvin: “Don’t you read USS Mariner? Nelson is going to be a stud!”
    Pelekoudas: “-sigh-”
    -click-

    Phone rings, Huntington is on the other end
    Huntington: “Hey Pelekoudas my man! Want to make a trade for the exact type of player that is causing your franchise to suck right now?”
    Pelekoudas: “Ah fuck it who do you want?”

  83. DMZ on July 10th, 2008 11:14 pm

    ‘viscious’?

  84. John in L.A. on July 11th, 2008 1:22 am

    “Baseball is a viscous mistress.”

    -Gaylord Perry

  85. terry on July 11th, 2008 4:07 am

    “Baseball is a viscous mistress.”

    -Gaylord Perry

    Spit on any woman and she’ll be unpleasant to deal with….

  86. terry on July 11th, 2008 5:59 am

    According to C Kahrl, Vidro’s option vests at 535 plate appearances.

    Wilson can’t get to Seattle fast enough…. :-)

  87. smb on July 11th, 2008 8:18 am

    thanks, msb…

    how could I possibly have confused the two?!?

  88. msb on July 11th, 2008 8:23 am

    “Baseball is a viscous mistress.”

    -Gaylord Perry

    well, if anyone knew from viscous, it was Gaylord.

  89. et_blankenship on July 11th, 2008 12:25 pm

    Crap. When I saw this on the ESPNEWS ticker last night I was clinging to the hope that there was another Craig Wilson. “It’s a common name, and the Pirates tend to collect guys named Wilson. Yeah, it’s gotta be a different Crag Wilson, one who is still in his 20’s.”

    Nope.

  90. nwtrev on July 11th, 2008 2:48 pm

    76 – Why wait? Put him in Tacoma now and see what he does. What is the worst that would happen? We’d have an underachieving first baseman.

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