-
Give to the 2008 Dave Scholarship
Only days left! Help Dave in his quest for an economics degree! Now!
-
Buy the book
The Cheater's Guide to Baseball
"Derek Zumsteg should be ashamed to have such comprehensive knowledge of the history of cheating in baseball. Pete Rose gave me two to one odds this book would become a classic." -- Allen Barra, author of The Last Coach: A Life of Paul "Bear" Bryant
Tragedy or comedy
Good things
Ichiro, three games in first place, McLaren fired, Bavasi fired, the improvement of Riggleman, Morrow’s development, Morrow going to start, Felix starts, nice return on Rhodes trade, RRS ascent to rotation, Vidro release, Sexson release, Beltre, Clement promotion, Clement re-promotion, Ibanez’s hitting, continued if diminished fan support, anger of the Lincoln/Armstrong post-Bavasi-firing conference, Lopez’s hitting, improved outfield defense, the most valuable Bloomquist season in years, Burke pitching, LaHair getting a shot, the return of a healthy Mark Lowe, the July 28th game where the M’s hit four home runs, three walk-off wins, Wilkerson released, Sean Green, four shutouts, twelve wins by five or more runs, hope (however small) for a organizational overhaul this winter, and 48 wins.
Bad things
McLaren started the season as manager, team offense, team pitching, team defense, Washburn versus Johjima (one and two), personal catchers, Bedard hurt, Silva starts, Batista appearances, Washburn not traded, Baek traded for no reason, Putz injury, Putz ineffectiveness, Putz re-injury, Vidro, Sexson, Johjima extension, Johjima’s season, Clement demotion, Ibanez’s defense, some Dickey appearances, continued if diminished fan support, Lincoln-Armstrong still in charge, Lopez’s defense, Betancourt’s collapse, Reed not hitting after promotion, Wlad not hitting after promotion, Clement not hitting after promotion, no towel service day, Bloomquist injured, Morse injured, Cairo, the division cellar, three seven-game losing streaks, eight times being shut out, twenty three losses by five or more runs, the 15-3 loss to the White Sox this last week, winless against the goddamn Yankees on the season, swept by the Nationals, “funk blasts,” the fifteen-inning 1-2 loss on July 6th, the thirteen games where no Mariner collected an extra-base hit, the thirteen games where no Mariner drew a walk, the one game where no Mariner had an extra-base hit or a walk, Valle and Fairly guesting in the broadcast booth, the Moose, 1-71 record when going into the ninth behind, nine walk-off losses, Drayer fired, Rally Fries, Bloomquist’s quest for historical futility in the field of hitting thwarted, and “no question about it” the 82 losses.
Comments
-
USSM uses and recommends
“interesting” management of the bullpen and the batting order.
As far as good goes, you forgot about Dave Niehaus going into the Hall Of Fame. As for the bad, well… other than reprinting the box scores one by one, you covered it pretty well.
I’ve always believed that tragedy makes for the best comedy.
After the season was in the can, Los Ninos’ dynamic attempted double plays often made for great comedy.
Whenever I would hear one of the Daves say: “Groundball towards second…” I would cue the Benny Hill music in my head.
You forgot the single greatest thing that happened this season!!
FELIX HERNANDEZ HIT A GRAND SLAM OFF OF JOHAN SANTANA!
52 wins, 77 losses? We’re 48-82.
Andy Devine!
Fixed record. I don’t know where that came from. What a weird error.
good: get a high draft pick…..
Sims managed to make an inline pun about 88s and base/bass today that totally cracked me up. I almost put it in there. Though in retrospect, I’m not sure he didn’t mean 808s (as heard in Mixalot lyrics) so maybe that’s for the better. Still, it got the laugh.
Of the first 12 things on your “good” list, five of them are getting rid of something. You know that’s a rough year ==> tragedy.
That said, Bavasi being fired mid-season is my highlight of the year. Too bad they didn’t do it a year earlier before he made three franchise crippling deals.
I think Mel Brooks can help here:
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”
Definitely comedy… at least if you want to watch this season and stay sane.
Now that you look at it, watching this team would be funny if I wasn’t rooting for it.
I mean really, fan base goes into season expexting playoff appearance, team quickly gets swept in a 4 game series by cellar dwellar Baltimore, team continues to lose, heads start rolling around like bowling balls, team loses some more, player almost sets record for crappiness as far as XBH’s, team loses some more, two horrible starting pitchers start throwing people under buses, more loses follow, the term “100-100 club” for first team with $100,000,000 payroll and 100 losses gets thrown around, team continues ineptitude, I could go on and on and on……
But the funniest thing is the fans who continue to follow the team through their losses, disapointments, and screw-ups while other fans of other teams stand by and feel sorry for them.
Well, look at this way: The longer you wait for a championship, the sweeter it is.
Adam Jones: Tragedy.
Not that I’m much of a fan of the man the quote is attributed to, or of the man he was quoting when he said it, but… history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. I’m just hoping that 2004 was the tragedy and this is the farce, because if we have to put up with another season like this, I may go nuts. So here’s hoping this is Sedan and not Waterloo.
LaHair getting a shot is a good thing? He sucks.
Despite a few bad appearances, I probably would’ve listed Dickey’s good appearances as a positive (not to mention, the M’s also got more mileage out of him this year than they typically do with most of their Rule 5 picks).
4: Yes, I agree on The King’s grand salami — with that one swing of the bat, he’s unofficially leading the team in hitting for the season!
Dickey should have been in both with the same wording, I messed up.
LaHair’s 25, he’s been in the M’s system since he showed up in Everett in 2003, he’s got not much potential — I’m happy to see him get service time in this lost season.
Jones was pre-season.
It’s like getting Mickey Lopez his hit a couple years early.
Was there a transporter malfunction or something?
You know, you can sing this post to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
I’m pretty sure that would go under the “Bad things” paragraph. It certainly would if I sang it.
At this point, any new attempts to put words to that song belong under “Bad things.”
Here’s more comedy or tragedy???
Silva’s Leadership
Sexson’s mound charge
McLaren’s profane press conference
If I had to pick one from each?
Good: Felix Grand Slam (even if you left it out)
Bad: Ron Fairly. Please, just stay away.
Soopa Good Things: USSM Pink Ponies
Not So Good Things: Burger Chef tantrums.
You mentioned Cairo but you didn’t mention him TWENTY FIVE TIMES which is how many games he’s started at 1B. Ideally you would mention each of his starts there, along with his OPS at the time: “Cairo started June 12th against Minnesota, OPS .518″. Cairo’s going to come in over 400 innings at first, which is something you’d expect to see in wartime, when you’re reduced to playing the guy with one leg. In soccer.
I would like to think, Sexson going to the Yankees was a good thing. “Yankees Suck”
Raul Ibanez’s oft-cited outfield assists; good things, or goodest things?
My favorite parts of this post…
The “Continued but diminished fan support” being listed in both sections. I don’t know why but that cracked me up…
…and the “Bloomquist being injured” in the bad section, and “The most valuable Bloomquist season in years” in the good section. I agree with both of these things, but I’m more than a little surprised to see them posted. I’m wondering how many of the regulars here agree with these two? Not many I’m guessing. I think if you put it up for a vote of registered users, Bloomquists injury would be a landslide “good” thing….sadly…
Not merely losing 82 games, but losing because they don’t seem to have a clue, and losing while being boring.
This is another season to forget - like every one of the past seven - but this time for a new set of reasons.
However, I’m not having Ron Fairly lumped into the “bad things” list. In the days of Valle, Henderson, Rizzs, Fairly and Niehaus - Ron was always the forth worst commentator. I miss old Red. There was something comforting about endlessly being told things I knew already. It’s better than things I never wanted to know (that’d be Henderson), things that I knew to be wrong (Valle) and things that the announcer made up just to sound more sycophantic and insincere (old Bob-Monkhouse-lookalike Rick Rizzs).
mln said:
Soopa Good Things: USSM Pink Ponies
SERIOUSLY! Fuck the mother-fucking ponies already! I have a six year old daughter; I have pink ponies up to here! I don’t need more annoying bloody pink ponies cluttering up otherwise engaging USSM discourse.
Dude. Chill out.
Pink ponies rule.
Dude. Chill out.
Pink ponies rule.
Does this fall under good things or bad things, you decide… it’s the success this season of guys formerly sentenced to wear the Mariner uniform.
Piniella, Sherrill, Moyer, Griffey in a pennant race and fifth on the all-time HR list, Mr. Adam Jones shining until recent injury, Rafael Soriano, and several others who escape me.
Then don’t forget Meche and Jose Guillen, two guys we never ever ever could have used this year, collecting fat paychecks for a better team. Ugh.
Randy Winn, Mike Cameron, Miguel Olivo, Joel Pineiro and Carlos Guillen all get props for being somewhat productive major leaguers elsewhere.
I feel happy for those guys for them not having to go through this season here.
That’s some pretty impressive pony-related angst.
“That’s some pretty impressive pony-related angst.”
Totally. Although those damn pink ponies are pretty freaky, with their big eyes and springy manes. Kind of like Willie himself….
If I had them littered all over my home with some little girl voice rattling through their names, “And this one is Clover, and this one is Flicka, and this one is Misty”…all day long, I’d melt down faster than a Washburn 5th inning myself.
I read this, mostly the “better team” part, and my initial reaction was, “What? They play for the Royals!”
Then I remembered.
Ouch. Your 2008 Seattle Mariners - argument #1 in favor of lobotomy.
I don’t think we have to be exclusive when it comes to the Mariners and the comedy/tragedy angle. I’d actually see this season as black humor.
Also, yes, it sucks that the best 1B in the M’s organization is a guy who, if he hits his 95% PECOTA projection, might be Raul Ibañez, but is much more likely to be John Mabry. That’s really a horrible indictment of the organization.
But that being said, yes, I’d rather see LaHair fight for a job in MLB this season than watch Richie Sexson, so yeah, getting LaHair playing time’s good as well, as long as it doesn’t stop us from getting a real 1B come 2009.
Bloomquist getting hurt was bad? That’s the third best thing that’s happened all year (1. Bavasi fired; 2. Felix Grand Salami)…
And with the way he’s pitched this year I’d have to disagree with “the return of a healthy Mark Lowe” being a good thing.
I agree with the premise, but I’ve thought all year that Lowe hasn’t been healthy, but made the opening day roster because he throws 95 and Bavasi and McLaren were desperate to save their jobs. IMO, if Lowe were healthy he’d be pitching more like he did in ‘06 and not sucking so badly. The dude has a WHIP of 1.84 (70 hits and 31 walks in 55 IP), opposing hitters are getting on-base against him at a .390 clip and his ERA is 5.73. Is there anything good about any of that?
I think we are missing the [ot]
I don’t wish injury on anyone, that’s all. I think that’s kind of shitty.
[Niehaus]
I was waiting for a “Litle did he know comment…” in regards to the comedy or tragedy.
Must be the only one who saw “Stranger than Fiction.”
Why the lack of love for the Moose? Was it the Coco Crisp incident or does it pre-date that?
I’m pretty sure the Moose is the second biggest reason my 4-year-old likes going to games (seeing Ichiro! is number one).
[meta]
Well, I don’t want to speak for Derek, but I think it is just a long running joke where he disses on the Moose. Although, what you said there represents a lot of people’s feeling that the Mariners play to the casual fan who wants to see hydro races and do the wave a little too much.
Seeing a game at Yankee Stadium last August was a huge difference. There were no “Get Loud” flashes on the scoreboard. As annoying as they may be, their fans seem to care about what is happening on the field.
That is a pretty long standing rule around here. Certain names (such as Niehaus) get posts wacked a lot more than others. You might fly under the radar on a guy like Feierabend when he first came up, but you picked maybe the one name that will get your comment deleted every single time.
I guess I’m conflicted about all the hoopla at Mariners games:
As a fan, trying to educate myself about the nuances of the game, I hate the wave and wish the crowd would appreciate good play on the field more and show some emotion about the game.
As a parent, it’s the moose, the hydro races, and all the cheesy extras that help my son last through a 3 hour game.
Don’t you remember the Marines are trying to be “peanut friendly”—I mean fan friendly.
oh, it is no joke, mister. It is a sad, sad tale.
Getting really technical:
“Tragedy depicts the downfall of a basically good person through some fatal error or misjudgment, producing suffering and insight on the part of the protagonist and arousing pity and fear on the part of the audience.” (http://condor.depaul.edu/~dsimpson/tlove/comic-tragic.html)
If you said Bavasi was he central character of this story… I’d have to say that perfectly sums it up.
also: “A true tragedy should evoke pity and fear on the part of the audience.” That’s definitely true of this season as well…
—
As for comedy: “A comedy is a story of the rise in fortune of a sympathetic central character.”
I’d really have to stretch to see who this one applies to, someone who would also be a central character.
So technically, on a scholarly level, definitely a tragedy.
I don’t know about “Good” but it was fun to see Jamie Burke pitch
52: Well, considering JB’s one inning pitched wasn’t as bad as most of Silva’s or Batista’s appearances this year, it probably qualifies as being in the “good” catagory.
That was a strange game. It was one of those WTF moments when I heard the announcer say “Now pitching…Jamie Burke.” I hadn’t been watching him warm up so it surprised me. Same thing happened when I went back to my desk at work and checked Gameday and saw “Felix Hernandez hits grand slam to right field…” I thought it was a typo then LL and USSM broke.
Yeah, I loved it when they brought Jamie Burke in to pitch.
I just wish he could have gotten through his inning unscathed…catchers in general seem to get so little recognition for what they usually do compared to the “best players in baseball” heavy hitters, that when they do something that is NOT in their job description, it’s great to see them do it well.
Sad for Jamie…