2009 clubhouse depth chart
DMZ · February 3, 2009 at 4:38 pm · Filed Under Mariners
Clubhouse Leader
Beltre
Clubhouse Leader Turned Cancer
Carlos Silva
Leadership by Stellar Example
Ichiro!
Beltre
Morrow
Jokester to keep people loose
Mark Lowe (declared)
Ichiro!
Clubhouse Religious Leader
Mike Sweeney
Awesome
Ichiro!
Beltre
Ryan Rowland-Smith
Morrow
Felix
(not in order of awesomeness)(except for Ichiro!)
Friend to the Beat Reporter
Carlos Silva
Jarrod Washburn
Beat Reporter’s Nightmare
Eric Bedard
Ichiro!
Resented Japanese Faction
Ichiro!
Johjima
Resenting the Japanese Faction Faction Leader
Carlos Silva
Crazed Work Ethic
Ichiro!
Clement
Token Clubhouse Intellectual
Miguel Batista
(should only be referred to as “Doc” or “Prof”)
Grizzled Old Guy
Miguel Batista
Supremely Confident Kid
Felix
You could really have Ichiro! here too.
But, but, Joe Sheehan says Ichiro is the second most over-rated player in the game (after Ryan Howard)!
Disclaimer: I don’t agree.
I see Ichiro as more of an inscrutable mystic than an intellectual.
PS – this was an excellent end of the day pick me up. Thanks Derek.
Okay, I get that it’s not in order of awesomeness, but since Derek put the idea in my head, who is more awesome, Ichiro! or Felix?
RoninX,
Maybe you need to start looking at Ichiro! like he’s one of those magic eye pictures, you know, let your eyes go out of focus and see if he’s still inscrutable. Maybe you will see a 3D spaceship, too.
Those magic eye things never did work for me, but I am pretty sure that inscrutable is one thing Ichiro! will always be… and its a joy.
Too funny.
I’m sorry but I can’t get over it…. this list would have been so much better with WFB included. When will I forget him? Is anyone else going through withdrawls? Can we get a helpline?
Wheres they guy who has grit, hustle, heart and soul?
Oh yeah that’s right we let the only player who had it go…
Hmmm I though Geoff Baker would be on the Resenting the Japanese Faction Faction Leader or at least a member.
Now that is how we like our pre-season reviews! Going over all the “elements” that will create great “clubhouse chemistry” and a “winning attitude”!
We do need an “ENFORCER”. Someone to keep the young guys focused on giving it their all every single day! We get that and we are playoff bound!
GO 2009 Mariner’s!
That settles things: the M’s need to sign Kevin Millar as the super-utility replacement for WFB. Look at all the positions he can play:
Clubhouse Leader
Jokester to keep people loose
Awesome*
Friend to the Beat Reporter
Crazed Work Ethic
Grizzled Old Guy
*in classic statistics like KFC and PBR.
We do need an “ENFORCERâ€. Someone to keep the young guys focused on giving it their all every single day! We get that and we are playoff bound!
How ’bout Sweeney? Granted, the odds of him making the ML 25-man roster are slim to downright anorexic, but he’s pretty “gritty”, ain’t he?
Corky? or would he be in charge of Folksy Humor?
Lopez?
Not white enough.
Speaking of an “enforcer”…
Where’s Luis Sojo or Mac MarkLemore when you need them?
Nevermind the “enforcer” tag for Sojo – he was more gutsy and unskilled than he was much of a clubhouse enforcer.
Can’t they just bring in Clint Eastwood?
Can’t they just bring in Clint Eastwood?
BRILLIANT! He has the grit, hustle, heart and soul, also he can be the grizzled old guy and the leader the only problem is I’m not feeling to lucky…
[Double post]
Slurve,
If he could be as nasty in real life as he was in ‘Gran Torino’, it’d be hysterical.
“Move your BLANK ya BLANETY BLANK BLANKET-BLANKER!”
“Move your BLANK ya BLANETY BLANK BLANKET-BLANKER!â€
That would be Piniella or Bowa, eh?
Also, does Wakamatsu ultimately become part of the resented Japanese faction? (I know he’s from Hood River, not Osaka…I figure Silva probably doesn’t).
I am nearvous about Silva honestly. Plus the fact that he has had to be on a diet the whole off season doesnt help. Keep the small kids away from the grizzly bear in Spring Training!
Where did the Double Play Twins go?
speaking of which, just how are they going to sell this team, this year? It seems like they have to shake up the ad campaign as well as every thing else– the sameold sameold from Copacino isn’t working.
speaking of which, just how are they going to sell this team, this year? It seems like they have to shake up the ad campaign as well as every thing else– the sameold sameold from Copacino isn’t working.
Free beat up Chuck and Howard day! Also who thought it would be a good idea to put Yuni on a bobble head of all people?
I don’t know about the add campaign, but it irks me that that Safeco doesn’t blast a big, deep, bellowing foghorn after each homerun. It would be similar to a goal horn in hockey, only more nautical. They are the Mariners.
Speaking of Silva, I tuned to the baseball channel today as one of the Caribbean Series games was ending…there was a highlight of a guy pitching and the announcer said, “and Silva pitches brilliantly and gets the win”…and he looked REALLY trimmed down, and I said, ‘man, this really is a great off season!’…and then it turned out it was another Silva.
Damn…
I don’t know about the add campaign, but it irks me that that Safeco doesn’t blast a big, deep, bellowing foghorn after each homerun. It would be similar to a goal horn in hockey, only more nautical. They are the Mariners.
We have the funk blast… Maybe if they had fireworks with it too…
I suspect that Mariner themed activities have been taboo since the Argyros bullpen tugboat, the dumbest of his many dumb ideas.
Howard and Chuckie will come on your TV sets on their knees and beg, plead, and cry for people to buy tickets.
Well, it’s a New Day and a New Way so I’d think they might have a new approach for the ads, too. The funny, personality-driven ads still work… when you have well-known personalities to build something around. And when you have better writing than what they’ve featured the past few years. (And stay away from “themes” like that whole home-shopping-network fiasco)
Well, maybe not for the bullpen pitchers. But they could hire a bunch of guys and put them in a boat-on-wheels to follow Silva around.
You know, if you armed them with harpoons.
The SeaFair pirates are available for most of the season, right?
Talk to Rick Rizzs, I hear he’s thinking of quitting the M’s and going to KC.
Talk to Rick Rizzs, I hear he’s thinking of quitting the M’s and going to KC.
Is that somehow a BAD thing?
I know a lot of people get down on Rizzs, and honestly, he could be better. However, I should note that the M’s broadcast team is actually pretty darned good. Especially when you compare it to the rest of baseball. Two words for y’all:
Hawk Harrelson.
[off-topic]
You guys harsh on anyone making a point without benifit of stats to back up an argument – then post something like this with no statistical value at all – and on a humor scale of 1-10, I give a “4”
also
[off-topic]
You guys harsh on anyone making a point without benifit of stats to back up an argument – then post something like this with no statistical value at all – and on a humor scale of 1-10, I give a “4″
Tastes differ. This post wasn’t there to argue a point, so why should it need to be backed up with stats? It’s a blog about the Mariners, not a blog about stats.
Talk to Rick Rizzs, I hear he’s thinking of quitting the M’s and going to KC.
Could we really be that lucky?
Spend a few weeks with MLB Extra Innings and you will find announcers far worse than Rick Rizzs. Dave Sims on the other hand . . . eesh.
on a humor scale of 1-10, I give a “4″
Please show your work to calculate that value.
(BTW, CHONE doesn’t like DMZ but Marcel projects greater humor from him in the coming season)
I think the grit and hustle role is TBD in spring training.
🙁
Classic, joser, classic… 🙂
You’re right about that. KC would be lucky to have a guy like Rizzs on their crew. Driving through Oklahoma City I picked up a KC broadcast and I swear it had the production quality of my local short season A team…no joke. And to keep this post on topic: Most Edgar Allen Poe like – Dave “Hall of Fame” Niehaus. The man can describe paint drying and make it interesting.
A comment complaining about “harshing” on anyone who makes a point without using statistics, which then assigns a numeric value to the humor of the post.
I know people misuse term irony all the time, so maybe that’s not ironic, but man…
That settles things: the M’s need to sign Kevin Millar as the super-utility replacement for WFB. Look at all the positions he can play:
Clubhouse Leader
Jokester to keep people loose
Awesome*
Friend to the Beat Reporter
Crazed Work Ethic
Grizzled Old Guy
*in classic statistics like KFC and PBR.
Hilarious, but also intriguing… It may just be the best solution to the Silva problem, as they both speak “chicken wing”.
didn’t the Jays give Millar an NRI?
didn’t the Jays give Millar an NRI?
Jordan Bastian, of MLB.com, reports free-agent 1B Kevin Millar (Orioles) said he plans on waiting until more free agents sign before deciding on accepting a minor league deal from the Toronto Blue Jays.
So if we throw in a Hooters V.I.P. card and a keg or two of Schmidt, we got ‘im.