The Silva Burger

July 20, 2008 · Filed Under Mariners · 66 Comments 

From this fine comment:

Rick Griffin: “Hey Carlos, you don’t look so good. Is it your elbow?”
Silva: “I saw a fan eating a hamburger. *gets animated* I didn’t know we HAD those here. ”
Griffin: “You know you just gave up a 3 run homer to Kelly Shoppach right?”
Silva: “… I mean, you could probably put the garlic fries right inside the bun with the meat!”

The Silva Burger

Ingredients:
– one hamburger patty, large or extremely large, must not be “lean” or “extra lean” ground beef
– your choice of condiments and hamburger toppings
– hamburger bun
– one order of garlic fries

Prep:
1. Grill the burger to preferred state. If you’re impatient for the deliciousness of the Silva Burger, very rare takes the least amount of time, and you’ll be fine. Tapeworms = no-effort weight loss anyway.
2. Put grilled patty on bun bottom
3. Dump garlic fries onto patty
4. Stack with condiments and lettuce, etc
5. Finish with bun top

Additional success scenarios:
1a. Use layer of bacon to protect bun bottom from patty.
3a. Use layer of bacon between patty, fries
4a. Additional layer of bacon

Serves one given sufficient starting patty size. Should be consumed before starts, followed by getting shelled and pulled for either ineffectiveness, stomach pains, or emitting clouds of noxious gasses.